Year 28 - J.L. Mac Page 0,109

from over the top of her head. “I think the baby is hungry,” Ellie announces pointing at her belly where little limbs seem to be trying to make an escape from inside.

“That’s the most fascinating and yet creepy thing I’ve ever seen.” I say pressing my palm to her stomach to feel all the movement going on inside. Ellie laughs making her belly shake.

“I’m gonna go get a snack.” Ellie excuses herself then goes in the direction of the backyard where all the food and tables are set out for the baby shower today.

“Hi,” I say feeling at a loss just looking at him.

“Hey,” he says, taking a step closer to me. His eyes are crinkled at the edges like he is working at figuring something out and it makes the tiny hairs on my arms stand on end.

“What?” I whisper.

“Nothin’ Rae,” he says low then steps around me and joins the rest of the party in the backyard. I sag against the wall in the hall and will my heart to slow its pace.

Three hours later, I find myself cleaning up the mess from the party. Blue and pink tissue paper and decorations are strung all over Momma and Daddy’s backyard. Everyone has taken cake to go and Ellie is having a nap while Doug and Dad are sipping something strong on the back porch, no doubt having a moment. I bet my dad is imparting Doug with fatherly wisdom before he too becomes a dad. I pause wadding up a plastic tablecloth and try to picture myself in Ellie’s shoes. Excited for a baby to come, my husband getting last minute wisdom and a pep talk from Daddy. No matter how I try to imagine it, the image I attempt to summon in my mind, doesn’t come. I take a deep breath staring at my feet then go on cleaning up the mess.

“Want some help?” Sy says from behind me. I turn to glance at him but pull my eyes away, focusing on what I’m doing instead of gawking at the man that haunts my dreams.

“Sure.”

“Figured Bethany would help but uh…” Sy trails off motioning his chin to where Bethany and Chick are sitting at a table drinking spiked punch.

I groan and get back to clearing up the mess and breaking down folding tables as I go. By the time we have cleared the yard of all traces of blue and pink, Sy and I are having an easy conversation about my work on the campaign, his work with BCF, and all the things people chat about when they’re catching up. A massive part of me is screaming for me to ask about Christine, the leggy blonde that had been with him at the gala in DC several weeks ago but my pride refuses. Stupid pride. Is it ever useful?

“So Christine—was that her name?”

“Oh, yeah Christine,” he nods going to the cooler on the porch. He takes two beers out and comes to sit beside me on the swing. Sy twists the cap off a beer and hands it to me then opens his. I sip my beer and watch Sy take a long gulp of his, in no rush at all to elaborate on who she is to him.

“When I relieved Gene of his duties with BCF I found Christine. She took his place. She’s been great and we’ve been able to really stretch our budget since we brought her on.”

“Oh, I see. So she’s the accountant,” I say without thinking about just exactly how relieved I sound.

“You’re jealous,” he says to the horizon as he takes another long gulp of beer. I snap my head his way and splutter, unsure that I can or even want to deny it.

Fuck. What am I doing? I didn’t plan any of this.

“Shut up,” I mutter petulantly then drink down half my beer in one go. “It’s just… habit,” I explain.

“Right.” Sy faces me, cocking his head while looking at me with that mind reader expression he has. He reaches up and tucks my hair behind my ear and my cheeks burn. Sy finishes his beer and gets to his feet. Fishing his keys from his pocket, he says, “Catch ya later, Rae.”

“Okay,” I murmur. Sy tosses his beer bottle in the garbage can by the garage then leaves. I don’t know how long I sit there alone before Momma appears from inside the house, the dishtowel still slung over her shoulder.

“That went all right, didn’t it? Fairly painless,” she