I’ve been sitting here on this porch, thinking of ways to tell you how sorry I am, but none of the apologies I came up with in my head sounded good enough for how I left you. What I did . . . it was beyond fucked up. I left you stranded because I couldn’t control my temper. There are times, like tonight, when I almost convince myself that I should let you go because I’ll never be a good enough man for you. You deserve so much better than me.”
I hate it when he does this—bashes himself. It’s like he doesn’t understand how I see him through my eyes.
I reach up and place the palm of my hand on his cheek. “Don’t ever doubt that you’re a good man. Since I’ve known you, all you’ve wanted to do is protect me, even in the messed up ways when you take things overboard with all the fighting. How could I ever fault you for that?”
He closes his eyes, like my touch causes him physical pain. “I’m trying so hard, Anna. I really am, but I don’t think I’ll ever get things right.”
I chew the inside of my lower lip. “Do you love me?”
“With every inch of my soul,” he answers without hesitation.
I smile up at him. “Then, you’re doing it right. Everything else is fixable. You just have to stop lashing out all the time.”
His face is a mixture of relief and sadness. “That’s the hardest part. I don’t know if I can control this rage inside me. There has to be a man who’s more deserving of you, and I’m afraid that, someday, he’s going to swoop in and steal you away from me.”
I train my gaze firmly on his. “That’s never going to happen, which is why you need to trust me. Have faith in me that I’m going to do right by you.”
Xavier presses his forehead against mine. “I’ll try.”
I shake my head. “There’s no trying on this one, Xavier. Without trust, a relationship has nothing. I don’t want us to fall apart because we keep having the same damn fight all the time.”
“You’re right. I will work on that. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”
He leans in to kiss me, but the sound of a motor closing in behind me rips his attention away. He narrows his eyes, and I turn around in time to spot a black Escalade whipping into the driveway.
Xavier tugs me behind him. “If something happens, run inside, lock the door, and call the cops.”
“Who—”
The passenger door pops open, cutting me off, as a short black guy wearing all black clothes and a bandanna wrapped around his head hops out of the Escalade.
The guy looks close to Xavier’s age, but the top of his head is bald, like he shaves it down to the skin. The menacing snarl on his face reminds me of the one Xavier does when he makes men shake in fear of him. That expression must be one that’s learned easily around this area. Even though he’s barely taller than me, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to meet this guy in a dark alley.
Two other men flank the short man’s sides—both of them taller than the man who is clearly the leader of the group and as intimidating as Xavier.
Xavier rolls his shoulders. “What are you doing here, Kai?”
Kai lifts his chin, and if he’s scared of Xavier, he’s not showing it. “You think you can just roll back into the Block, and I wouldn’t hear about it? Shit don’t work like that here, X. There ain’t nothing secret round here. You know that.”
Xavier lifts his chin. “Yeah, so? What are you going to do about it?”
My mouth gapes open, and my heart bangs against my rib cage, as I fear for Xavier’s and my safety. Since we’ve set foot in this neighborhood, I’ve been warned about how dangerous it is down here. Now, I’m thinking maybe I should’ve heeded Quinn’s warning and left this place with her.
Xavier stares down at Kai, and just as I’m preparing myself for the battle of the century, a huge smile breaks over Kai’s face, and he steps toward Xavier with his hand up in a greeting.
“Damn. Same ole, X. Haven’t lost your edge.”
Xavier reaches up and locks hands with Kai as he leans in for one of those chest-bump hugs. “How you been, man?”
Kai pulls back and lifts one shoulder in a noncommittal shrug. “Ah,