X: Command Me through Alexander's Eyes - Geneva Lee Page 0,37
possible. Still, she should know what she’s getting into. Not that there is any way to fully prepare her.
“There’s no going back after something like this,” I warn her. “If you want a chance at normalcy—at privacy—you should say no. But if you want a relationship, it seems as good a place as any to start.”
“What about you? Do you want normal?” she asks seriously.
I tell her the truth. “I don’t even know what those words mean. I never have.”
She strokes my cheek, trying to comfort me, even as I see the war in her eyes. Maybe she understands the stakes more than I think. Maybe she knows this is a mistake. I’m not even certain I’m doing the right thing.
“I can protect you from this. We can meet privately if you prefer,” I offer. “If you don’t want to come tonight, I understand, but please understand me when I say”—my eyes hood—“you will come tonight in other ways.”
This earns me a grin. “Is that so?”
I kiss her because I’m running out of ways to convince her to be by my side.
“But they know about us,” she says when we break apart. “They have the texts.”
“By Monday morning, MI5 will know who hacked my account, and they’ll be in jail.”
“And that will be another huge story. The kind that links back to this one,” she says. “An arrest won’t erase that.”
“No, but it will send a message, and don’t worry, I’ve devised other ways of contacting you.”
“Carrier pigeons? Smoke signals?” she teases. Clara, in a good mood, is like a rainbow on a cloudy day. It makes the storm worth it.
I can’t help feeling a little cocky now. “That can be arranged.”
She looks at me, and I think maybe I can be Prince Charming if she asks me. “I can’t keep pretending you mean nothing to me. I don’t like hiding or secrecy, but I still want my privacy. Is that something we can make work?”
“Of course.” I want her life to be as normal as possible. I owe her that much if I’m going to be selfish enough to keep her.
“I’ll go,” she finally agrees, but almost instantly, I see doubt creep across her beautiful face. I kiss her until she can’t remember why she was worried. I kiss her to forget that I am still worried.
Chapter Twelve
Clara,
I know I’ve scared you. I have no right to ask you to be with me. There are risks, more than I’ve let on about, but I can’t release you. I’m afraid that now, even if you tried to run, I couldn’t let you go. I crave your body. The touch of your skin. The sweet silk of your thighs against my face and the taste of you on my lips. Even as I warn you away from me, know that you are mine, and I protect what is mine. Even from myself.
X
It’s my fourth attempt to write her a note today, and I’m running out of time. I must have suffered a temporary bout of madness when I asked her to go to the party with me. I’d left out a few important details.
Tonight isn’t simply a ball. That would be too easy. It’s my father’s birthday party. I’m not certain who I’m trying to send a message to: her, him, or myself. I don’t want that kind of attention on her, but if we’re going to do this, it’s inevitable.
Which means it’s time to send the sodding note. There’s no way to prepare her for this. Sliding the card into a red envelope, I use my personal seal to ensure this message is only read by her. It’s archaic compared to text, but I can’t stomach the idea of the press twisting our words—or knowing the private details of our sex life. Clara’s body belongs to me. I’ve made that clear. I don’t want to share it with anyone, even a tabloid headline.
“Can you deliver this to Clara’s flat?” I ask Norris.
He crooks a bushy eyebrow as he accepts the card. “A love letter?”
“A warning.” It’s a much more accurate description of the contents. I’m throwing her into the water well aware there are sharks. In my family, there are no safe spots to learn to swim. This is the closest I can come while still protecting her.
“If you don’t mind me saying so,” Norris pauses to clear his throat, “you could try to romance the poor girl.”
“Romance? Are you getting sentimental on me?” If I’m honest, Norris has never