looking for. This part is a little more complicated, but I think I can do it. What I’m going to do is describe the woman who I think would best suit him. He seems like a pretty self-aware guy. My guess is he’s looking for someone who would be a good match. He’s not one of those guys who’s searching for a woman who’s completely inappropriate.
“Okay, you are seeking a woman who is between the ages of thirty and forty. I suppose you would prefer that she be athletic and fit, but I think you’d be willing to take someone who’s not really there yet, because you enjoy working out so much that it would be something you’d want to share with somebody and help them discover.”
“Very nice.” I can see him nodding out of the corner of my eye.
Encouraged, I continue. “You are interested in someone who likes small group activities versus large group activities. You are also okay with a woman who has children. And you’re looking for someone who likes the outdoors, who likes sports, and who has a good sense of humor.”
There are several other criteria I could select at this point, but I don’t want to go too far and accidentally exclude him. I think I’m doing pretty well with what I have. The final thing I need to do is select a geographic region.
“Where do you live?” I ask.
“Oh, no, no, no. You have to find me on there. On the site. You have to describe me to find me.”
“Yeah, but where you live has nothing to do with you as a person, as a candidate for a dating site.”
“On the contrary. Where a person lives says a lot about them.”
I shrug. “Fine.” I click on the geographical region that puts him within fifty miles of the warehouse. Done. “Okay, then, we’re all set. You ready to go?”
“I was born ready.”
I click the Search button, feeling silly that my pulse is racing a little. There’s a little heart icon spinning on the screen, telling us that the results are being gathered. It’s taking a lot longer than I expected it would, but this is encouraging. I think it means that the list is going to be short.
I turn to look at him. “You know you could just give up now. Admit defeat.”
He laughs. “I could say the same for you. It’s not too late. The results aren’t in yet.”
I shake my head. “Huh-uh, forget it. I am so going to win this.”
The heart icon finally stops spinning and a new window pops up with a list of candidate profiles. Each one is a single line with a quote from the beginning of their personal statements. There are no pictures and no real names, just usernames.
“Oh, ho ho!” I say. “A new level of challenge to the game.” I scan down the list, seeing if anything jumps out at me. There are two that look particularly promising, but because it’s such a small snippet of what the person has put about himself, there’s no way for me to be sure until I click on the links and read more.
I look at Dev again. “Care to raise the stakes?”
“What were the stakes exactly?”
I have to think about that for a second. Did we have stakes? I can’t even remember what got us in front of this computer together now. “Actually, I have no idea.”
“Dinner?”
I’m confused by his response. “The pizza? You already paid for it.”
“No, not the pizza. Another dinner. Winner gets treated, loser pays.”
I nod. Now we’re playing for realsies. And this is something I can actually enjoy. I mean winning is awesome, but winning a meal with a hot guy is better, even if it’s just a friend thing. “You’re on. So, what’re the rules?”
He shrugs. “You tell me.”
I like that I get to be the one to decide how we play the game. With great power comes great responsibility; I learned that from Spider-Man. “Okay, so we have a list of candidates here, and I suspect that of the people on this list, you are one.”
I wait for his response, but he’s like a world-class poker player the way he has zero expression on his face. Dammit.
I continue. “I will keep it like this where I can’t see any photographs, and using just these simple one-liners I will select my top three choices. These will be the three people who I believe could be you.”