He rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me that doe eyed look, missy. There’s a lot going on here that you don’t know about. This isn’t just a prison, it’s much much more, and Connor is only trying to keep you safe. Do him and me a favour, and let him.” His attention drifted to Drake. “Like Connor said, don’t get distracted, or be too stubborn to accept his help, both could get you killed. Bad things happen in this place…” His voice drifted off and his eyes darkened.
“Okay.” Stepping closer, I slipped my arms around him again. I hated that lost and broken look in his eyes. A moment later, he shook himself and patted my back.
“Come on, Em, people will start to talk if you keep throwing yourself at me like this.”
I huffed a laugh. “Not bothered.” Rawson was a few years shy of forty and a handsome man, not as muscular as he had been, but still fit and good looking. He was clever and kind and deserved far better from his life than to be stuck in here through no fault of his own. I frowned. If I wasn’t bothered by what people thought of me, why had I run from Connor and joined Drake’s pack? What was I thinking?
I looked at Connor, then dropped my gaze to the floor as my head started to pound. In Faerie, when I lost my temper, or fucked up, I usually didn’t have to deal with the consequences. In essence, I’d just run away. It hadn’t mattered to me if I treated someone badly because I never saw them again. That was a bad way to be. I hadn’t meant to hurt Connor by joining Drake’s pack, I’d just reacted to his ultimatum, and the situation the way I wanted to. I hadn't considered his feelings. But I wasn’t a child anymore; I didn’t have the luxury of just reacting. And Connor, as a strong alpha, was used to issuing commands and being obeyed; so was that sense of authority his fault or even a fault at all? He was Prime. He had to be in charge here or the place would descend into anarchy. The guards couldn’t control hundreds of angry shifters all vying for the top spot. They’d have to kill too many if such violence broke out, and even I could see that Doherty, or whoever ran this place, wouldn’t want the majority of his captives dead.
“When you two are done with manhandling each other, perhaps we can get some training in.” Connor’s lips were pressed tightly together, his face dark.
Rawson glanced at him, and slowly lifted his hands off me, raising them placatingly. “Sure, Connor, no more manhandling.” His voice was deliberately calming. My heart did a stupid flip flop at the thought that Connor was getting all mate possessive again.
Rawson smiled at me, then cocked his head and assessed me. “You look strong, and it’s clear you remember how to fight. I take it you found somewhere totally under the SBI radar to hide?”
I nodded. “Yes, I did.” I deliberately didn’t elaborate.
“Okay…” he said slowly. “Why aren't you telling me where?”
I shrugged. “Because my life hasn’t been all unicorns and roses, and I’ve done bad things that I don’t want you to know about.” My eyes unintentionally flicked to Connor.
Rawson huffed a chuckle. “Sweet girl…” He used the endearment Lyss had always used for me, even though he knew I was far from sweet. “... your life has never been easy, and I don’t expect unicorns and flowers. I’m certainly in no position to judge you for what you’ve done to survive. My life’s been shit since I lost Lyss, and I’ve done some despicable things. And Connor does what needs to be done inside these walls. None of us are angels.”
I gave a small smile, but bit my bottom lip, not able to look at Connor.
There was a pause.
I just couldn’t admit to them where I’d been or what I’d been doing. I looked around a bit. Maybe when we were alone and not surrounded by all these strangers I’d feel more inclined to share.
Connor sighed. “Okay, Firecracker, keep your secrets. You can tell me when you’re ready.”
I flashed him a small smile of thanks, flushing as his eyes softened. Then he coughed and squared his shoulders.
“Right now, we need to see what you’ve got. Rawson.” It was a command, and whereas when we were young Rawson had always