to see him alive, but at the same time what he had allowed to go on here worried me. Though I knew his wolf had been running the show, mainly. My stomach churned. I didn’t want to agree to become a member of his pack just for him to make me watch him with Shannon—or any other female, for that matter. I swallowed the bile that burned my throat. Gods, dammit! I needed to know where I stood. But even if we managed to work things out, I had a promise I made to Blue to keep. I groaned. This is such a mess!
Around me the women’s hall exploded with movement and chatter.
Someone kicked me gently. “You coming for food?” Charlie asked, sounding far too cheery.
I didn’t look at her. “Urgh! What are you doing slumming it in here? And no thanks, got too much on my mind.”
“Please yourself, but I’ll save you a spot just in case you change your mind. You’re guards are waiting outside by the way.”
I sighed as she walked away. The last person I wanted to bump into was Connor. He confused me too much. I was used to being in control, and he made me feel very very out of control.
I understood being marked and in a pack was safer, but I didn’t like to be pushed, and if I let Connor force my decision about pack membership, what other things would he try to control for me? I looked at the vines and rose tattoo on my wrist. Since I’d been freed from Som’s faerie contract, I’d been my own master. I grimaced, knowing deep down the reason for resisting Connor’s demands went far deeper than my stubbornness. I wanted to trust him, but just like in the past, I was convinced something would happen to take him from me, again. The bottom line was, I didn’t know him like I used to, nor did I understand this place. And even though he had been a potential mate to my last wolf, there was nothing to say his wolf would feel the same about the wolf I housed now. As for me and Connor… I squeezed my fists tight, my nails digging into my palms. Well, I had always loved him, but now he was a Prime; a powerful and dominant male, and he could have any woman he wanted. I wasn’t under-confident, not by a long shot, but this Connor...I swallowed hard remembering the way he’d brushed his lips against my skin. And he did say he’d never let another male touch me. Did that mean he really still cared for me, too? He had healed me, and his touch had been so gentle. Leaning my head back against the wall, I closed my eyes. His body had felt so good against mine. It had been obvious he wanted me, but my feelings for him went far deeper than just his body. I smiled. Though I had to admit, his body was a glorious fucking bargaining chip to persuade me to join his pack.
Enough! I’ll get some food then I’ll find somewhere to train and burn Connor out of my head for a bit.
Tentatively, I shuffled into a sitting position. I didn’t know how he’d done it, but he’d healed my ribs just by touching me yesterday. I lifted my top and prodded the slightly bruised skin with my fingers. It was a little tender but nothing else; my bones were healed.
I frowned. I didn’t know much about shifters. I had, after all, been living with fae and humans for the past four years, but I doubted healing power was a common occurrence in the shifter community. I’d never heard of it when I’d lived with Rawson and Lyss, and the academy hadn’t taught us anything about it.
The heavy smell of porridge drifted in through the open doors. My stomach rebelled, but I needed food. Going out into the fray again, without energy, was stupid. I shuffled my back to the wall, tipped my head back and bent my knees up to my chest. Connor was right. No matter how confused I was about him, I couldn’t spend the foreseeable future fighting everyone in this prison. I didn’t regret asking him to change his rules, but it had gotten around that it was my fault the bastards who loved rape and violence had to keep their dicks in their pants. That meant a lot of fighting and defending myself. And Connor was