The Wraiths of Will and Pleasure - By Storm Constantine Page 0,203

and Ulaume had just been drawn there, following your spirit, or a vision of your spirit. He felt the exact moment when you died, you know. He lived it with you.’

Pellaz raised his brows in surprise. ‘Are you sure?’

‘As sure as I can be. Anyway, the cable farm was just ruins. Everyone was dead.’ This wasn’t the whole truth, of course, but Flick had decided to be economical with facts for the time being. He wasn’t sure how much Pellaz knew.

Pellaz nodded. ‘The old world has gone. We have to expect and accept that. I, more than any har, can’t go back.’

‘Ulaume would like to see you,’ Flick said. ‘Whatever happened between you in the past, it affected him greatly. I think it changed him. For the better. Don’t judge him on past experience.’

‘I don’t,’ Pell said. ‘Once I did, and if I’d run across him, I’d probably have thrown him into a pit and never let him out, but I know better now. Ulaume was as much a product of his inception, and his tribe, as… well, that affects everyhar. Also, I know that you wouldn’t be with him if he was as soulless as I once thought.’

‘We lived at the Richards house for a time, then the Uigenna chased us out.’

‘I should have sent help, but I didn’t know about your situation then, Flick. My reinvented life was all so new. I hope you understand.’

‘Why should you have cared? You had become Tigron and your world was suddenly a lot bigger than it ever was before. Ulaume and I were just a small part of your past. Don’t feel guilty about it.’

‘But Terez… Perhaps we – that is, the Gelaming – could have helped him more, changed the outcome. I haven’t cast him off as much as I like to think, obviously.’

He doesn’t know about Mima, Flick thought. He would have to be careful. He mustn’t let that slip out. ‘Don’t you mind being pushed around by Thiede?’

Pellaz picked up a sandwich from where Flick had laid them out on greaseproof paper. ‘I let you keep the sedu because I knew I could always use him to find you, when I wanted to.’

‘I should have realised that. Stupid of me.’ Flick hesitated. ‘You’re not going to answer my last question, are you?’

Pellaz bit into the sandwich, chewed thoughtfully. ‘No. I’m surrounded by hara who fawn all over me, but I always knew that some from my past would resent what I’d become. Some from my present do too, come to think of it.’

‘Don’t misinterpret my words,’ Flick said. ‘I’m not envious of you. Given the choice, I’d rather have my life than yours.’

Pellaz smiled. ‘Well, one of the reasons I’m Tigron is because I think it’s worth the price. I’m not bewailing my lot, Flick. I’m privileged and I enjoy it. Most of the time.’

‘Just the few awkward glitches from the past, eh?’ Flick bit hungrily into his sandwich.

‘Seel misses you,’ Pellaz said.

Flick nearly choked, but managed to swallow before spraying the Tigron with food. His laughter was genuine. ‘Is that what he says?’

‘He thinks you were… influenced to leave Saltrock.’

‘I was. I heard a few home truths, that’s all. It was the best thing.’ He wondered how long the conversation would go on before one of them said Cal’s name.

‘You know how it seems to me?’ Flick said. ‘Some hara in the world seek power, others don’t. You and Seel fall into the former category, Cal and I the latter.’ There, it was said. ‘It was perhaps the biggest thing we had in common for a while.’

‘Cal and you?’ Pellaz said.

‘Yes. We had a… thing for a while in Saltrock. Didn’t Seel tell you about us?’

Pellaz shook his head.

It would have been so easy to descend into Ulaume mode and turn the knife. The idea held great appeal, but Flick could see the har he had once known looking out of that beautiful face beside him, and just couldn’t bring himself to do it. ‘He loves you so much,’ he said softly. ‘I have never seen anyhar so much in love.’

Pellaz turned away. ‘Some call it obsession.’

‘They can call it what they like, but I believe it’s something that transcends death and distance. It’s not over, Pell. It never will be.’

Pellaz nodded, and Flick saw his throat convulse. He imagined the Tigron had swallowed tears so many times he could do it without thinking now.

‘Thanks,’ Pellaz said in a husky voice. He stared at Flick unflinchingly. ‘Did