The World According to Vince - Jane Harvey-Berrick Page 0,18
mate!”
“I am. The world is doomed.”
I stared at myself in the mirror, liking what I saw. I flexed my muscles, counted my abs, then turned sideways to check out the peachy globes of my amazing arse.
“Hot!” I grinned at my reflection. “Fookin’ hot!” I raised one eyebrow and turned to stare at Rick. “And you were supposed to be persuading Faith to go out with me and that tonight will be fab, but I didn’t notice you helping.”
“Her name’s Grace.”
“That’s what I said.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t help you.”
“Why not?”
“Grace is my fiancée’s best friend.”
I arched an eyebrow at myself in the mirror as I answered him. “So?”
“I like her. I’m not telling her to go out with a tosser like you.”
“Why are we best friends?” I laughed.
“Limited choices.”
“Nah, you love me really, mate.”
“I feel sorry for you.”
At that moment Cady came in from the back garden with Zeus and Tyson at her heels. Tap trailed behind looking sad. She knew that Rick and Cady were dog sitting for the evening and she hated it when I went out.
Rick pulled Cady onto his lap, which was a brave move since she wasn’t a small weight.
“Cady, tell Vince that Grace isn’t interested in him,” he said.
“Course she is!” I defended.
“Sorry, big guy,” said Cady with a smile. “She thinks that you’re a jerk—ya know, a knob-head.”
Rick nodded in agreement but I turned back to the mirror, ignoring them both.
“Nah, she’s into me, I can tell. Otherwise why would she invite me to her office party?”
Cady sighed. “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you … wait, I actually really did want to tell you … but she thinks you’re a grade-A asshole, and the only reason she invited you is because her boss told her to.”
“Prime stud, me.”
Cady cringed. “I rest my case.”
I glanced over and grinned at her. She was wearing a red sweater and it really suited her.
“Yer tits are looking nice today, Cady. Very firm and fruity.”
“Oh my God! I can’t believe you said that!” she bellowed.
“Don’t talk about my fiancée’s tits,” Rick said, his voice a warning.
“What? I was paying her a compliment.”
“No,” Cady said patiently. “A compliment is saying my hair looks great or you like my dress. A compliment is not staring at the girls and leering.”
“I can’t help it,” I admitted. “Your tits are so big it’s like having another person in the conversation.”
Cady slapped her forehead as Rick scowled. “You’re a lost cause.”
“Nah, I just need the love of a good woman to put me on the right track. Like Faith.”
Cady and Rick yelled in unison: “It’s Grace!”
“Yeah, her. Top totty,” and I hid my smile.
Cady turned to Rick. “Why are you friends with him?”
“He’s like a stray puppy. I can’t throw him out now.”
“He’s 6’4”!” she yelped.
“He’s still an idiot,” Rick mumbled. “And a danger to himself.”
“True,” Cady sighed.
I winked at them both in the mirror. “I’m irresistible.”
Cady tried once more to put me off.
“No, Vince. The reason Grace doesn’t want to go out with you is because she has good taste.”
“She wants a taste of my prime rib.”
“I give up,” she sighed.
I checked myself in the mirror once more then looked up as my door bell buzzed.
“My cab’s here. Look after the kids for me and don’t get too crazy—no shagging in my bed—unless I can join in.”
“Get outta here!” Cady laughed. “And be good to my girl!”
“Always!” I grinned, then knelt to kiss the kids goodbye. “Group hug!”
Tap licked my face. It was her way of forgiving me and saying, hurry home, Dad!
The taxi ride to Grace’s apartment seemed to take forever as it slid through the slushy streets that Friday evening. I’d been surprised when she’d asked me to be her date to her annual office party, and my enthusiasm was only slightly blunted when I learned that it was only because her boss wanted to meet the Canine Crusader, but I was all about the opportunity. Grace and me and an evening out—I wasn’t going to waste it.
At her apartment, I rang her bell and she buzzed me in. I was curious to see her place. I imagined it to be very tidy but classy and a bit uptight, like her.
She met me at the door already wearing her coat over a knee-length black dress.
“I’m ready,” she said, almost pushing me backwards.
“Nah, I’ve brought something for you to wear,” I said, handing her the garment bag I’d been carrying and slipping past her. “Nice place you’ve got.