The Wonder of Your Love - By Beth Wiseman Page 0,75
ready. His cousin stroked his beard, clearly with something on his mind. “What is it, cousin?”
“I’m not sure there is anything more fragile than a widow’s heart, Eli.”
“Except maybe a widower’s heart,” Eli quickly responded.
But he knew what Elam was saying. “Are you afraid I’m not doing right by Katie Ann?”
“I didn’t say that. I’m just reminding you that she is fragile.” He backed up a few steps, waved a gloved hand, and said, “Have a gut time.”
Eli thought about what Elam said as he drove through a flurry of snow to Katie Ann’s house, and he wondered if being so close to Katie Ann was a good idea. But it wasn’t like it was something he could control. He loved her, and he felt led to be here. Despite his own plans for his life, God seemed to have something else in mind. But even if he did trade in one dream for another, how could God expect him to leave his family to be with Katie Ann? It wasn’t fair to ask her to leave the home she’d built in Canaan either. He’d have to go home at some point, and how would they both feel?
He shook his head, deciding not to worry about leaving her before he saw her. He parked the buggy, then made his way up the porch steps. She was opening the door just as he held up a hand to knock. He pulled the screen open and stepped across the threshold into the warmth of Katie Ann’s home.
“It’s gut to be here.” His teeth were chattering as he pulled off his coat and hat.
Once they were hung on the rack, he pulled her into a hug, wishing he could stay in her arms for the rest of his life. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, the way a man kisses his wife, and as the passion built between them, Eli felt her trembling. He eased away and gazed into her beautiful brown eyes. “I—I . . .”
Eli wanted to say it so bad, tell her how he felt. But Elam’s words rang in his ears. Katie Ann’s husband hadn’t been gone a year, and unless Eli was ready to leave his home in Ohio and be a husband to Katie Ann and father to Jonas, he knew that he would have to keep his feelings to himself. Anything else would be selfish and unfair.
“I know friends aren’t supposed to kiss like that,” he said after a moment. “But I missed you.”
“I missed you too. Very much.”
Her eyes twinkled as she spoke, and Eli felt torn between taking her in his arms again or running out the door. There was a struggle going on inside of him—between what he thought he wanted and what seemed to be playing out in his heart. And all the while a passion burned inside of him for Katie Ann that made it almost too much of a temptation for him to even be there.
KATIE ANN SMOOTHED the wrinkles in her black apron as she took a slow deep breath and wondered if her heart would ever stop pounding against her chest. She released the air in her lungs only after Eli had turned away and walked toward Jonas’s playpen in the living room. He eased his hand down and touched her sleeping baby on the head with a tenderness that Katie Ann could hardly bear.
A few minutes later Eli was stoking the fire and Katie Ann was brewing coffee. By the time they settled onto the couch and began talking, it was as though no time had passed. Once again, they ate supper on the couch in front of the fireplace, and Eli raved about Katie Ann’s chicken and rice casserole. Eli told her all about his trip to Florida, but not with the excitement that she expected.
“I don’t know. It was nice, I guess.” He set his empty plate on the coffee table and took a sip of coffee. “I felt . . .” He sighed. “I felt guilty. So much luxury and things that just aren’t necessary. You should have seen how many different kinds of soaps, shampoos, and lotions were in the bathroom at the hotel.” He chuckled. “I did enjoy the television.”
Katie Ann smiled, glad to hear the laughter back in his voice. “I don’t think you should feel guilty, Eli.” She wasn’t completely sure how he should feel, since she’d never known an Amish man to travel.