could barely come to the city today without a panic attack. How did you make it?”
“It wasn’t easy,” Sarah said. “But I managed. I stayed with a friend for the first year until I could afford to live on my own. Then I rented a small apartment in Staten Island. I worked two jobs to pay for community college and changed my last name so no one could find me.”
“But what if they had found you?” Deya said. “Weren’t you afraid of what they would’ve done?”
“I was,” Sarah said. “But I was afraid of other things, too. Fear has a way of putting things in perspective.”
Deya shifted in her seat, trying to absorb the image of her aunt running away from Fareeda’s house at eighteen, her own age. It was unthinkable. She could never run away from home. No matter how much she was afraid of life in Fareeda’s house, the real world scared her much more.
“I don’t understand,” Deya said. “Is that why you reached out? To help me run away?”
“No! That’s the last thing I want for you.”
“Why?”
“Because running away was so hard,” Sarah said. “I lost everyone I loved.”
“Then why am I here?” Deya asked.
There was a moment of silence, and Sarah glanced over to the coffee bar. She stood. “Let me get us something to drink.” She returned with two vanilla lattes minutes later and handed one to Deya. “Careful,” she said as she settled back in her seat. “It’s hot.”
Deya set the mug on the table. “Tell me why I’m here.”
Sarah pursed her lips and blew on her coffee. “I already told you,” she said before taking a sip. “I want to help you make the right decision.”
“You mean about marriage?”
“That, and other things, too. I want to help you stand up for what you want.”
Deya sighed and brought her hands to her temples, pressing her fingers against her hijab. “I’ve already tried standing up to Teta. I told her I don’t want to get married right now. That I want to go to college. But she doesn’t listen. You know that.”
“So that’s it? You’re going to give up?”
“What else can I do?”
“Stand up to her,” Sarah said. “Apply to college anyway. Turn down the suitors she finds you. Keep trying to change her mind.”
Deya shook her head. “I can’t possibly do that.”
“Why not? What are you afraid of?”
“Nothing . . . I don’t know . . .”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Sarah said, placing her mug on the table. “I think you know exactly what you’re afraid of. Tell me, what is it?”
Deya started to protest but stopped herself. “It’s nothing.”
“I know you’re trying to protect yourself, but you can trust me.”
The way Sarah saw her so clearly was unnerving. She shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with protecting myself.”
“Maybe not. But pretending nothing’s wrong is not protecting yourself. If anything, it’s much more dangerous to live pretending to be someone you’re not.”
Deya shrugged.
“Believe me, I know how you feel. I’ve been exactly where you are now. You don’t have to pretend with me.”
“Well, I’ve been pretending my whole life,” Deya said. “It’s not something I can just turn off. You see, I’m a storyteller.”
“A storyteller?”
Deya nodded.
“But don’t you think stories should be used to tell the truth?”
“No, I think we need stories to protect us from the truth.”
“Is that how you plan to live your life? Pretending?”
“What else am I supposed to do?” Deya could feel her hands begin to sweat. “What’s the point of saying what I think, or asking for what I want, if it will only lead to trouble? It’s not like speaking up will get me anywhere. It’s better to just pretend everything is fine and do what I’m supposed to do.”
“Oh, Deya, that’s not true,” Sarah said. “Please give me a chance to help. To be your friend. I grew up in the same house as you did, with the same people. If anyone is going to understand you, it’s me. All I’m asking is that you give me a chance. What you choose to do in the end is up to you. I just want you to know all your options.”
Deya considered. “Are you going to be honest with me?”
“Yes,” she said with conviction.
“What about my parents? Will you tell me the truth about the car accident?”
Sarah paused. “What are you talking about?”
“The car accident that killed them. I know there’s more to it.”
Another pause. For the first time, Deya could see nervousness on Sarah’s face.