Khaled raised his hand. “I said uskuti! Shut your mouth!”
“Or what? You’re going to start beating me again? Do it! Put your hands on an old lady, you filthy man! Instead of screaming at this girl, why don’t you go punish your damn son for beating her senseless? What are we going to tell her parents, huh? That our son beat her so hard she needed stitches? And what if someone at the doctor calls the cops? What if your son goes to jail? Tell me, have you thought about that? Have you?” She turned to look out the window. “Of course you haven’t. I’m the one who has to do all the thinking around here.”
Khaled sighed. “She shouldn’t have left the house like that.” He met Isra’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “A woman’s place is her home. Do you understand?” Isra didn’t reply. “Do you understand?” he said more loudly.
Isra nodded and looked away. She feared what she might say if she spoke. It was the first time Khaled had ever reminded her of Yacob—loud, overpowering, furious with her—and she felt herself involuntarily shrinking away whenever she glanced up to find him still studying her in the rearview mirror. She looked away again, panicking. If Khaled was this angry, what would Adam do to her when he saw her?
Isra faced the window the rest of the ride home. Every now and then, she looked up to find Fareeda staring absently out the passenger window. Isra wondered what she was thinking. Fareeda had never once in the past seven years defended her. What did it mean? Did Fareeda understand her after all? Did she love her, even? Her own mother had never stood up for her despite the many times Yacob had beaten Isra in her presence.
Isra felt a tide of helplessness spread through her as she thought of her life. She hadn’t asked for much. Why couldn’t she get it? She must have done something to deserve her miserable fate, only she didn’t know what, so she didn’t know how to fix it. She wished God would tell her what to do. But in the silence of the car she asked God, and He said nothing.
Fareeda
Winter 2008
I’ll stand here all night if I have to,” Deya told Fareeda in the kitchen. “I won’t leave until you tell me what happened.” She moved closer. “If you refuse, I’ll never speak to you again. I’ll take my sisters and leave, and you’ll never see us again.”
“No.” Fareeda reached out to touch her, but Deya stepped away. “Please.”
“Then tell me the truth. All of it.”
“It’s the jinn,” she croaked. “It’s the jinn from my daughters.”
Whatever answer Deya had been expecting, it was clearly not this. She stared at Fareeda with confusion in her eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“That’s what possessed Adam and Isra. That’s what’s been haunting this family all these years. The jinn from my daughters.”
“What daughters?”
She told Deya all of it: how her belly had swelled soon after her marriage to Khaled, how hopeful he had been at the gift of new life, the possibility of a new beginning in such a desperate time. Only Fareeda hadn’t given him the son he had dreamed of, the young man who would help him find food and water, who would help him cope with the burden of their family’s loss, who would carry on the family’s name. She had given him balwas instead—not one but two. She had known, even before seeing the mournful look on his face, that he would be disappointed. She hadn’t blamed him. The shame of her gender was engraved on her bones.
Deya sat down. “What happened to them?”
“They died.” The words felt heavy on Fareeda’s tongue. They had remained unspoken for so long.
“How?” It was clear she was still angry, but her tone had softened slightly.
“Khaled’s mother made me feed them formula. She said breastfeeding would stop me from getting pregnant, and we needed a son. But there were shortages of food and medicine. One day I ran out of formula, so I stole a cup of goat’s milk from our neighbor’s tent and fed them and . . .”
“I don’t see how this has anything to do with my parents being possessed,” Deya said.
How could she make her see? Fareeda sucked back tears. It had everything to do with Adam and Isra. Her daughters had been punishing her all these years for what she had done. When Isra gave birth