shit, though. That's why he says I can't be around her."
"And instead, you're sitting out here at three in the morning, staring at her house?" Seth lifted his own beer and took a drink. "Told Pax you'd probably be useless tomorrow. He said we'll let you sleep in. If you can, that is."
"Sleeping makes it better," I admitted. "But then I dream about her and Gabby."
Seth grunted in disgust. "Don't fucking tell me you got a hard-on for the kid too!"
"No!" I growled. "But that's her kid. Hers, Seth. And Gabby kinda reminds me of my sister. I tried to save her, you know, but I wasn't old enough to shift."
"So you're going to watch over Gabby instead, huh?"
I just nodded. "And Elena. That woman is my mate."
"Ian's mate," he corrected.
"Mine too. Mine first." A hint of a growl touched the last word before I could stop it.
But Seth just reached over to rub my arm in reassurance. "She's a pretty amazing woman, Lane. You at least got good luck there. Pax was kinda telling me about it, but I have no idea what you're going through. If you wanna talk, I'm willing to learn."
I sat there for a moment, sipping at my beer and trying to make my mind focus on something besides Elena. The whole time, he let me. This was why I liked the kid so much. He was patient, and he'd made a good wolf. Oh, it had taken him years to learn how to control his body after he was turned, but most converts never tried that hard. Seth, however, had refused to give up.
Which was how he'd ended up as Ian's beta. Every day, he'd begged one of us to help him use this new body. He'd recorded our howls and barks, listening to them to learn the nuances. He'd treated it all as some challenge to overcome, and he'd managed. He'd also hated every second of it, raging against the life that had been stolen from him.
"Do you still hate being a wolf?" I asked.
He murmured at that, clearly thinking about it. "No, not really. I hate the assholes who thought turning me was ok, but I got lucky. I just fucking hate thinking about the shit I would've been in if you guys hadn't been right fucking there, you know?"
"Well, this is kinda like that. I didn't ask for it, and it fucking sucks, but it's also not so bad." I finished my beer and looked over, lifting a brow for another. "But I fucking kissed her, Seth."
"Doesn't pass through kissing," he said as he swapped the empty bottle for a full one. "You can do that all you want."
I just grunted, because he clearly didn't get what I meant. So I tried again. "Each time I touch her makes it worse, but I can't help but want to touch her. Like fucking leveling up in a game, you know? The sword gets bigger, or the gun. Well, this fucking pull gets bigger, and it's not ever gonna go away."
"So do you watch her every night?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I try to stay away. Ian made it clear that was not a request."
"But shouldn't we try to explain this to her?" he asked. "I mean, at least bring up the idea of the supernatural, or something?"
"Can't."
"Lane," he grumbled, "that's not fair to her. You can't expose her to this shit without giving her the option to refuse."
"I didn't get that option!" I snapped.
He lifted both hands and leaned away from me as much as the chair would allow. "I know, but that doesn't mean it's right for you to do the same to her. I just think we should bring it up, even as a joke. Put the idea in her mind, you know?"
"No." I paused for a drink. "Did Ian ever tell you about the girlfriend he told?"
"No," Seth admitted.
I nodded, my eyes returning to Elena's yard on their own. "Was after Ian, Trent, and Pax graduated and we all moved back in with Henry, when you were still in college. Ian was dating this woman, and said he was in love. Things started getting serious, so he decided he'd tell her. I'm sure you can imagine how that went."
"She thought he was crazy," he guessed.
I tipped my head to the side and lifted a shoulder. "Sorta. She thought it was a bad joke. Said she wasn't going to fall for his gag, and if he had some lame-ass