I rolled my eyes at her. "In case you missed it, I'm forty years old. Pretty sure hooking up doesn't happen after thirty."
She lifted a brow. "Yeah, no. That's not at all how it works. Oh... Elena, no." She giggled. "The whole point is to find someone, go back to his place, get fucked good, and then pretend like it's a reset button."
"I'm still married!" I hissed.
She gave a look that all but dared me to admit I was stupid. "You are getting a divorce. Gerardo is your ex-husband. Maybe not legally, but are you really going back to him?"
"No," I muttered.
She nodded. "Then say it. Tell me he's your ex-husband. I dare you."
"Gerardo is my ex-husband," I said, actually liking how that felt. "Mentally, at least."
"That's all that matters," she assured me. "The court date is just a technicality. You're divorced in your mind and your lifestyle, so live like it."
"I happen to have a daughter to raise," I said, pushing it off.
"And a best friend willing to watch her when you're out. A pseudo-grampa who'd jump at a moment's notice. Trust me, being retired isn't easy on my dad. He'd be thrilled to check up on her. All I'm saying is that you need to start realizing that you have a whole life ahead of you, and this is a place where we actually take care of each other. Gerardo isn't around to say what you can and can't do anymore. Even if it's not dating, but just a painting class, or maybe we should get back to yoga? Have some girls' nights?"
"That," I told her, "would actually be amazing. I'm..." I flapped my hands when I couldn't find the right words. "Ash, this is hard. I know how to be a mom. I got that down. I have no idea how to be single, though. I mean, I can watch what I want on TV, wear what I want, do what I want, and it feels like..."
I nodded, feeling a little smile find its way to my lips. "It really does."
"Good. And now I'll let you go home." She leaned into me, pressing her shoulder to mine in an armless hug. "Let's go find your spawn."
We were halfway around the pool when Ian found us. He fell in on my other side and looked around me at his sister. "Can I have a moment, Ash?"
"Sure," she agreed, sounding like she wasn't convinced it was a good idea. "How about I go find Gabby, and you can be nice to my best friend?"
"Always nice," he assured her.
Ashley left, leaving me once again alone with her brother. "Did you need something?" I asked.
"Yeah, actually." He smiled at me. "Let me take you out to dinner?"
"What? No!" I hissed before my brain even kicked in. But when it did, I realized just how that sounded. "I don't know if Ashley set you up for this, or what's going on, but I'm not a pity case, Ian. I appreciate the offer, but I'm not even..." I stopped myself. I was mentally divorced. I owed Gerardo nothing. "I'm not ready," I said instead of blaming my marital status.
"Ashley didn't set me up," he promised. "This has nothing to do with her. I'd just like to get to know you better."
I turned to face him, lifting my chin enough to meet his eyes. "To be neighborly?" I shook my head. "I don't think that's how that works, and it's starting to sound a little cultish."
"I was thinking more like a date," he admitted. "You know, flowers, a nice dress, maybe even a kiss at the door when I bring you home?"
"I'm forty!" I blurted out.
He ran his eyes over my body. "And beautiful. What's your point?"
"Don't you think I'm a little old for you?"
"Not at all." He smiled and stepped back. "But now you're thinking about it, aren't ya?"