do it right now, unless you forgive me. Say you forgive me, Hayle.”
The words stuck in my throat as I watched her flail on top of the table. This was so…wrong. All of it was wrong. She’d murdered not only Amber, but my biological father. Her husband. All because of me.
No class or book could have ever prepared me for this moment. For the utter wrongness of it.
“Say it, Hayle.”
My breaths started coming out in ragged pants. She wanted me to say I forgave her, and that was something I couldn’t do. How could I? How could she even ask such a thing of me?
Wrong.
It was all so, so wrong.
“Say it,” she screamed at the top of her lungs, and that was the moment that three men in white uniforms appeared.
They forcibly removed her from the table and carried her back inside. She fought the whole way, peering at me over her shoulder, yelling for me. She begged for forgiveness, for me to help her.
And I just watched.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Thea
I’d almost given up hope of ever seeing Hayle again when he finally appeared. It was probably cowardly of me, but I’d had to walk away. I couldn’t stand to look at Lily for one more second, and I’d refused to break down in front of her. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of witnessing me suffer.
So, I’d found a bench outside of the facility and allowed the tears to roll down my face unchecked. And, strangely, I wasn’t entirely sure why I was crying. Lily had already admitted to poisoning my mother. Maybe I’d needed to hear her spell it out, and in front of someone else, to make it real.
There was no denying the truth any longer. Lily Crowder—Hayle’s mother—murdered my mother. And I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel about that. Right now, I wasn’t sure I felt anything about it.
I stood as he approached, and when I caught sight of his face, my mouth went dry. His skin looked paler than ever against his almost-black hair, and his brown eyes were dull. His shoulders drooped so low, I could have sworn he’d lost six inches of his height.
He looked…wrong.
Something must have happened. When I’d left him in the courtyard, he’d appeared angry and appalled. Now, he was utterly defeated.
I placed a careful hand on his arm. “What’s wrong?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think I can…”
I waited, and when he never finished his sentence, I said, “Tell me what happened.”
“I—she—” He shook his head again, and I wanted to tell him it was all right. That he didn’t have to talk about it. But before I could put my thoughts into words, he hunched over, and a strangled sob tore from his throat.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pressed my face into his hair, somehow needing the comfort of his body as much as I needed to provide comfort. “It’s okay, Hayle. It’s all going to be okay. I promise.”
Minutes passed as I continued to whisper meaningless words against his hair while he wept. I wasn’t sure why I bothered saying anything. I doubted he could hear me. But I needed to do something other than stand here, feeling helpless.
I could only imagine what he was going through right now. It was bad enough having confirmation that my mother had been murdered, even after I’d suspected as much for almost eight years. For Hayle, this was all fresh, and it had to hurt like a bitch.
I felt more than heard when his sobs subsided and his breathing evened. He wiped his shirt over his face before pushing up to his full height. Giving me a sheepish look, he said softly, “Fuck, that was embarrassing. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He opened his mouth to argue, and I encircled his waist with my arms. “I’m serious. Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing embarrassing about feeling, Hayle. You’re allowed to feel whatever you want, whether it’s anger or betrayal or even devastation. Feel it all.”
He pulled me into his body and sighed against my hair. “Fuck, Thea. I don’t deserve you right now. I’m not sure I ever have.”
I buried my face into his chest and inhaled the scent of leather from his coat mixed with his fresh-smelling soap, deciding I hadn’t spent enough time in his arms. Not near enough time. “That’s not true. You just did that—faced all of that—for me. And I screwed up too.”
He released a disbelieving laugh, and I tipped my head back to