Withering Tights - By Louise Rennison Page 0,56

coming back.”

Ruby started to say, “Dog hearing? I got in her dog basket once when she was snoozing and she didn’t even—” Then something creaked, and we shoved the owlets back in the nest and legged it for the door.

As we jogged away from the barn, Ruby said, “Any more lad stuff? Did the lasses track down the Woolfe lads?”

I said, “Yes, but something funny happened to me when I went home. I was—”

And I was just about to tell her about the Charlie incident when Ruben came strolling by with his pigs. Matilda ran away from Smoky and Streaky.

Ruben winked and said, “Ay up, Rube.”

And she said, “Ay up, Rube.”

And we both laughed.

It was water off a duck’s back to Ruben. He said, “Either of you fancy a snog, as I’m doing nowt?”

Ruby said, “Yeah, that would be great, wouldn’t it, Tallulah?”

Pardon?

Ruben said, “Really?”

And Ruby said, “Oh, look there’s a pink pig, can you see it, up there in the sky?”

As he sloped off, clicking his fingers, she said, “All of the Hinchcliffs have been like that since they were about two.”

At which point we noticed Cain, sitting on a gate sucking on a piece of grass.

Ruby said, “What’s he up to?”

I said quickly, “Why don’t we have a proper run for a bit?”

Too late. Cain saw us and shouted over, “Alright, girls? Going to play with tha dollies? Or have tha got something else to play with?”

I do officially hate him.

I turned my back on him and started walking on, but then Ruby said, “Oh my God, this time he’s done it.”

I looked round and he was snogging a girl. What was news about that?

I said to Ruby, “That Beverley girl wants her head testing.”

Ruby said, “It’s not Beverley.”

And it wasn’t.

Ruby said, “It’s Seth’s girlfriend.”

CHAPTER 16

Heathcliff, it’s me

Tap-tapping at your windooooow

When I got to Dother Hall, I felt like a month had gone by, so much had happened. It was really only a few days since I had seen the girls, but I had been through the wringer of life. I wouldn’t know where to start to tell them everything.

Was I going to tell them everything?

Did anyone else know about corker rubbing?

As I reached the gates, Vaisey came hurtling out to hug me. Her hair shaking and shimmying about. She said, “Lullah, guess what? Phil told me that Jack thinks I’m cute!!!! Cute!!!”

I said, “Gosh. And goodie. That’s goodie. And spiffing and everything.”

Vaisey said, “I know, I know. AND Jack is going to be coming here on Friday…because…The Jones have asked him to be their new drummer!”

Oh goodie, The Jones will be around on Friday.

I didn’t have any time to talk to the girls about my news because we had mime with Monty, first thing. He was so excited about it that he came and got us ten minutes early. Hustling us into the small studio, he loosened his bow tie and said, “Today we are going to learn how to express ourselves, but not through voice. Let’s begin. I will go first.”

He put on a sailor’s hat and started to sway from side to side.

Then he put a hand over his eye, like he was looking into the distance.

Then he looked sad.

Then he looked into the distance again.

And jumped up and down, looking pleased.

He fell to his knees, putting his hands in prayer position. Then leapt up again and did a war dance.

At the end, he said, “So, girls, what happened?”

Flossie said, “Were you a drunken sailor?”

Monty looked a bit annoyed.

We knew it was some sort of sailor because of the hat, but then Flossie said, “Well, were you on a cross-channel ferry in a storm?”

Monty got exasperated and told us that he was Columbus discovering America.

I don’t know how we were supposed to know that.

I said to Vaisey, “Wasn’t Columbus Spanish or something? He should have done a little flamenco dance instead of just the swaying.”

At that point Ms Fox came in and said, “Hello, carry on as if I am not here.”

Then she lay down on the floor.

Monty said, “Now ladies, it is your turn. Think yourself into whatever it is you are portraying. Be the thing or person inside.”

We had to get into groups of three and be at a party. The person who was ‘being’ whatever they were being, had to convey to the other two by their actions what they were ‘being’.

I felt strangely calm for once.

I went and crouched on a chair.

I was ‘being’ Connie.

Like Monty had told us, I thought