Withering Tights - By Louise Rennison Page 0,49

it.

We went to our special tree to open them. I was hobbling along at the back.

Vaisey said, “Let’s do it all at once. I’ll count. Ready? One, two, three.”

And we ripped open the envelopes.

Tallulah Casey

Dother Hall

Summer term assessment

Dear Tallulah,

You are clearly an intelligent girl as well as being very tall. You have an unusual presence and on the whole a slightly wild, but pleasing disposition.

However, I regret that so far my staff and I have seen nothing that would suggest to us that you are cut out for an artistic career. As we have tried to emphasise, this is not a career choice for the faint-hearted. In the time that you have left here, we hope that you will charge your glass with courage and show us that you can do something extraordinary.

Sidone

Your overall assessment is 45%

Vaisey, Jo, Honey and Flossie all got over sixty per cent.

Honey and Vaisey were specially mentioned for their singing.

I didn’t want them to see my letter – but they wanted to.

Jo said, “Come on, Lullah, it can’t be that bad.”

I gave it to her and she said, “Blimey, that’s bad.”

Vaisey said, “She says that you’re tall and you have an unusual presence. That’s good, isn’t it?”

And that’s when little tears came splashing out of my eyes.

I didn’t want to cry in front of them. But I was.

Vaisey started crying then as well, when she saw me. She said, “Please don’t, Lullah, I can’t bear it if you cry and are upset. I think you are lovely, I thought you were lovely the minute I met you and you took me to Heckmondwhite High Street which isn’t there. But that is what I love about you.”

Flossie and Jo put their arms around me. Jo looked up at me and said, “I bet you can do something, I just bet you can show them. What about singing a really big belting song that—”

Flossie said quietly, “The singing tutor sort of said that maybe, you know, Lullah should concentrate on other things.”

Jo said, “Oh yes, yes, I remember…”

No one could think of anything else to say. I was just standing in a huddle by our tree with my friends cuddling me. I’ve never been so unhappy and happy at the same time.

Then Honey said, “Thometimeth you’ve got to wait for a happy ending. Evwything workth out awight in the end.”

I said snuffling, “Well…how, how…is this going to work out alright in the end?”

And she said, “I don’t know, it’th a mythtwy, it jutht doth.”

Then Jo said, “I know this is a bit of an odd thing to say, but it might show you that every cloud has a silver lining. When you were crying, I had my head accidentally on your corker area and I think you could even, maybe, get your first bra?”

The Dobbins had all gone out skipping-rope weaving. All in dungarees.

And then the phone rang.

I answered and said, “Hello.”

A very faint voice said, “ Lullah…god morgen!”

It was Mum.

I felt a bit like crying. But before I could say anything, she was off

“How are you? Do you know, I am absolutely loving it here. This is the most marvellous experience. I have a guide called Olaf, who is teaching me everything he knows. And he knows a lot, believe me.”

I tried to stop her before she told me something that I would have in my head forever. People think I exaggerate about my mother, but I don’t. I think it’s why my legs are so long. I’m trying to get away from her. Upwards.

After telling me how like the Vikings the Norwegians are, and how friendly Olaf is, and how clean Norway is, and how very clean Olaf is, she said, “We are off to a sauna, you roll about in the snow naked at the end.”

You see, I knew that would happen, the something I would have in my head forever. To stop her going on, I interrupted quickly and told her about Dother Hall and what I felt like. And the bleeding feet, and how everyone else could sing and tap dance. And had ordinary knees.

And she listened, even though I could hear some sort of digging and howling going on in the background. I hope it was only huskies. Then I told her I was going to keep a summer notebook of love.

“Oooh, that’s a good idea, you could do a sort of comedy performance of it.”

I said, “It isn’t funny.”

She said, “Oh, I assure you, it will be. That’s what you