Withering Tights - By Louise Rennison Page 0,26
to do our smalls).
When we came down again at break there was a huge gaggle of girls trying to see into in the music studios. Good, that meant that The Jones wouldn’t be able to get out very easily.
At this point there was a big kafuffle, girls were sort of semi-fainting. Then we heard a voice I recognised saying, “Stop being so nebby, you lasses, and get your apple catchers out of t’road. Afore I do it for thee.”
It was Ruben. The Jones came out of the studio looking a bit moody.
I got my hat and pulled it right down over my eyes so that Cain wouldn’t recognise me.
But when I peeped out there was no sign of Cain.
Honey said, “Oh, have you finithed wecording alweddy?”
The other one, not Ruben so it must be Seth, looked like he was going to kill her.
He said, “Wot the bloody ‘ell did tha say?”
Honey tried again, “I thaid…HAVE you FINithed WEcording?”
“No, we haven’t finished WEcording. Bloody Cain nivver showed up.”
As they went through the front doors, pursued by girls, Ruben said, “I don’t know why we let him be in the band, he can’t sing and he’s an idle git.”
Seth said, “I tell you why we let ‘im be in the band, the lasses come to see ‘im, ‘e writes the lyrics, and ‘e’s our brother.”
On the way home Vaisey said, “Honey’s quite, you know…advanced for her age, isn’t she? She told me she’s a size 34 C.”
I looked at Vaisey sideways and said casually, “Yeah, yeah, she would be about that. What are you…about a 32 um…?”
Vaisey looked down at herself.
“Yeah, I’m 32 B. So far.”
I looked down at myself and she looked as well.
We walked on in silence for a bit.
Then I said, “Do you think my corkers are growing?”
Vaisey looked closer and said, “Yes, I think they are. Maybe you could do some excercises. Like press-ups.”
Hmmm.
I said, “Oh yes. I could do the massage and press-ups combined.”
Vaisey said, “Massage?”
I didn’t mention the corker-rubbing business because there is something about Vaisey that makes me think she would find it unhygienic. And also we were sharing a bed tonight. Sharing a bed with Vaisey, but sharing a pub with Alex.
When we got to Heckmondwhite I said I would see her in about an hour and scampered to the Dobbins’. I unlocked the door. Aaaah, the peace and tranquillity. No looming mad twins, no huge shorts. I walked around the kitchen just for the sheer pleasure of not having anyone staring at me from the floor.
In my squirrel room, I opened the window, it was still quite hot. I was putting together my little overnight bag when I thought, what if I unexpectedly bump into Alex on my way to the lala in the middle of the night? What should I say?
What about a quirky saying? To enhance my quirky nature.
What about, “Cor, love a duck, I didn’t see you there, young sir!”
No no no!!!
I didn’t want him to see me in my jim-jams.
And what about if he said, “Do you fancy a ride in my car?”
What is good car wear?
A hat?
For wind?
Or a headscarf?
I haven’t got a headscarf.
Well that’s it then, isn’t it? The whole thing is ruined. I haven’t even got a headscarf to go out in his car.
I can’t think about this.
I’m going to do deep breathing.
Looking out of my window across the fields. Towards Grimbottom.
Me and the girls are going to go to Skipley tomorrow. On the bus! Who would have thought I would be so excited about going on a bus. But there might be civilisation in Skipley. There might be a Topshop. I am soooo excited. I am over-excited. I’m hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate.
I got my things and left the house quickly. As I crossed the village green, I saw that Alex was outside The Blind Pig sitting on the wall. I got the funny thumpy-heart thing. I must think of something sensible to say ahead of time.
What would be normal to talk about?
He smiled when he saw me.
Ooooohhh, he was smiling. He was doing the smiling thing. Ooooooh.
“Ay up, Tallulah, are you alright?”
I smiled back and kept my jacket done up to de-emphasise my lack of corkers.
Alex was sitting with his legs crossed and his hands in his pockets. The sun was still quite bright and he screwed his eyes up so that he could see me. He looked lovely with screwy-up eyes.
He said, “What