Withering Tights - By Louise Rennison Page 0,20

copse and home. Keep it up!!”

Phil and Charlie got up and started jogging on the spot.

Phil said, “Time to take our surprise lead at the other end of the copse.”

As they jogged off, Charlie shouted, “Ta ta, don’t be strangers!”

And they were gone.

Wow.

And phew.

CHAPTER 7

He had everything a dream boy should have

Back, front, sides, a head

Ambling to the village on Thursday with Jo and Flossie and Vaisey – Honey has a singing lesson so she is off to the music studio – we were, of course, talking about the boys. Phil and Charlie.

Vaisey said, “I thought they were both quite cute. And friendly. And funny. How can we see them again? Should we go and hang around the tree every day?”

Jo said, “Phil was cute, wasn’t he? But he’s a bit short.”

I said to her, “Jo, you know that saying ‘it’s like the pot calling the kettle black’? Well, you saying that Phil is a bit short, is like a tiny, tiny, black pot calling a tiny kettle black.”

Flossie said, “What pot? Who’s got a pot? Where’s my pot? I want a pot!”

When we reached Heckmondwhite, Flossie and Jo went into the village shop to get emergency supplies to stave off night starvation. Fun-sized Mars bars mainly. And Vaisey and I did hanging about duties.

As we lolled on the wall, Ruby came out of The Blind Pig. I hadn’t seen her since Sunday and it was nice to see her little face.

She called out, “Nah then!”

What did that mean?

Ruby asked us what we had beeen doing at college.

I told her, “In a nutshell, I did some Irish knee dancing, Vaisey trotted about pretending to be Black Beauty…and then we met some boys from Woolfe Academy, lurking in the undergrowth.”

Ruby said, “Why were you lurking in the undergrowth?”

Vaisey said, “Not us, them. Boys. They were quite cute, weren’t they, Lullah? But…anyway, you are too young for this sort of talk, Ruby. Did you play skipping and stuff today?”

Ruby just looked at her. “I’ve kissed boys, tha knows.”

What?

She said, “There’s nowt to it. It’s natural, like cows and that.”

Do cows kiss? I didn’t know anything about anything.

Vaisey was amazed. “You’ve kissed boys?”

Ruby went on, “They allus want to kiss you. You have to shape them up a bit, some of them don’t even know to take their chewing gum out.”

I couldn’t think of one single thing to say.

The others came out with their provisions and Ruby said, “I’ve found some owl eggs, do you want to see them?”

Jo and Flossie said they had to go, because they had a lot of provisions to get through and Vaisey wanted to go and read Wuthering Heights. We have Dr Lightowler tomorrow. Oh good. Or goooooooood as she might say. But probably not to me.

Vaisey toddled off. Her perky little bottom sticking out in a friendly way.

I really like her.

She’s my new hair-hat friend.

And Rubes?

She’s…well, what would you call her? Too little for a proper friend. A friendster? A mini friendster? A fun-sized friend?

She and I went down the side path that ran along the back of the Dobbins’ house. We bobbed down because I could see Dibdobs in the kitchen and I didn’t want to have the staring brothers following us. As we passed my bedroom window at the back, I looked up to see what you could see. Quite a lot is what you could see. For instance, if someone had been, say, standing in the window in their pyjamas, spying on you snogging. You could have seen that.

I said casually to Ruby, “Um, do you know a boy called…Cain?”

Ruby laughed. “Who doesn’t know Cain? Who doesn’t know the Hinchcliffs? Ruben and Seth are bad enough, but Cain…”

Oh, this was worse than I thought.

I said nervously, “What is this Cain…um…what does he, why is he, um…”

Ruby said, “He’s alright really, but he’s as much use as a chocolate teapot. The girls go mad for him, though. He’s good-looking, I’ll say that fer him, but the way he…well.”

I couldn’t help myself. “The way he…what?”

“Well, he goes out wi’ girls and snogs ‘em and then he dumps ‘em. And gets another one, and then he goes back t’first and gets ‘er again and then dumps ‘er again. The amount of crying about that lad.”

I said, “Well…I mean, more fool the girls for going out with him.”

Ruby said, “Oh, he nivver takes ‘em out anywhere. They just turn up to see his gigs.”

I said, “What do you mean, ‘they just turn up to see his gigs’?”

Ruby