Witcher Upper - Amy Boyles Page 0,9

of this, would there? Unless the quilting bee knew exactly what was going on, their heads would fall off. It just came with the small-town territory, I suppose. Old ladies had to know all the ins and outs and the happenings. So me and Shane having a private conversation would just about drive those three bonkers.

I sighed. Might as well tell them before Malene started a rumor that Shane and I were getting married. Heck no, I would not put that past her. Trust me, it wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened, and I doubt it would be the last.

“Just so y’all won’t make up some crazy story, I’ll go ahead and tell you.”

Malene smiled before quickly forcing her lips back into a neutral position. “Oh? Well, only if you want to. We’ll be okay without knowing.”

“Now that is a lie, Malene, and you know it,” Urleen quipped. “Why, you were just saying that if you didn’t find out what Shane asked, then you were going to follow his truck tonight.”

My jaw unhinged as I stared at her. “Malene, are you honestly telling me that you would have spied on Shane just to find out what he had asked?”

Malene grimaced. “For the sake of this town, I would, and I’m not ashamed of it. Why, one time, my snooping paid off. Old Man Juniper was just about set the town on fire. If I hadn’t discovered him making Molotov cocktails, half of Peach Street would have burned to the ground.”

“I’ve never heard that story,” I murmured.

“That’s because Old Man Juniper doesn’t try that sort of thing as much anymore.” Malene shook a finger at me. “But you can bet your biscuits that I still watch him.”

“Now, now, we all know the service that you do for Peachwood, Malene.” Norma Ray reached over to pat her hand and ended up patting the rocking chair’s arm instead. “You are a gem to us. Why is your hand so wooden?”

“Because you’re fondling the chair,” Urleen said sharply. “If you’d wear your glasses, you would know that.”

Norma Ray scoffed.

“Shane asked me to sit by a bonfire with him and have a couple of drinks tonight. No big deal. He said he wanted to get to know me better.”

“Ooo, somebody likes somebody else,” Malene gushed. “That Shane’s a good one. You couldn’t do much better than him, at least not in Peachwood.”

“Isn’t he dating that nail tech?” Urleen asked.

“That’s what I wondered.” I slumped down into my chair and brought one leg over the other, wagging my foot in the air. “I was sure he had a girlfriend.”

Norma Ray hiked her shoulders to her ears. “Probably broke up. You know how it is with these young folks and their social media.”

Urleen scowled. “What does social media have to do with anyone breaking up?”

“You know, maybe she posted a nudie picture and Shane didn’t like what he saw.” Norma Ray dropped her voice. “Maybe she has a mole on her bottom or zits on her boobs. Who knows.”

I bit back a laugh. Oh Lord, what these women didn’t say.

Malene poked the air with her finger. “There’s one definite way to find out if they broke up.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

When she spoke, her words were laced with mystery. “The gossip line will tell us. All we have to do is start the gossip line phone tree and we’ll know the truth in minutes.”

Malene put down her quilting and rose. I lifted my hand to stop her. “That’s okay. You don’t have to do the gossip line, at least not for me. Why don’t I just go on my, er, date, or whatever it is, and find out what he wants.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Malene winked. “But I’ll still start the gossip line.”

I groaned. “Can you do me a favor and not start that until after I leave?”

“Fine by me,” she said.

I glanced at my watch. “Oh, would you look at that. I need to stop by Architectural Scavengers.” Rising, I shouldered my purse. “I promised Sadie that I’d check out their light fixtures for Dooley Hutto’s barn.”

Malene pulled a face.

“What?” I said. “What’d I say?”

“It’s not what you said,” Urleen answered, “it’s who. You were talking about Sadie.”

I threaded my fingers through my hair. “What is your deal with her, Malene?”

“Oh, it’s not just her deal,” Norma Ray corrected. “It’s all our deals. None of us like her. She’s as bad as her mother.”

Her mother? “Why?”

The three women exchanged a quick look before Malene spoke. “Don’t