Witcher Upper - Amy Boyles Page 0,54
arrive in our town?”
“Ever since we lost our ability to hunt?” Norma Ray guessed.
“Yes,” Malene said triumphantly. “We’ve been waiting a good ten years to get the likes of him here. Now that he’s arrived, it’s a brand-new day. The witches and wizards here can use the spells that he finds.”
Rufus patted the air in a hold-on gesture. “The only thing I really want is a memory spell so that I can regain what I’ve lost.”
“But while you’re looking for that, you can help others,” Urleen said. “I know that spell holder is in here somewhere.” She opened her purse and laid a can opener on the table.
“Why in the world do you need a can opener?” Norma Ray asked.
Urleen looked at her as if she’d grown an extra head. “Why, I thought everyone carried one. You never know when you’re going to need to open up a can of whoop-butt and throw it on someone.”
“That doesn’t exist,” I said. “There is nothing in the world that is actually labeled whoop-butt in a can.”
“Oh no?” Urleen lifted her brows and eyed me from head to toe. “And I thought you were smarter than that, Clementine Cooke.”
Next thing I knew, Urleen pulled a soup can from her purse. Sure enough, written in red letters on one side were the words Whoop-Butt.
“See?” she said smugly.
Properly chastened, I nodded appreciatively. “So I do. There is such a thing as that. Well, what you don’t learn.”
“I know it. Now where is that jar?” She resumed digging in her purse, her nose stuck in the black hole of it. “Here it is. Finally. I thought I was losing my mind.”
“You weren’t the only one,” Norma Ray said pointedly.
Urleen gave her a hard look. “Y’all know I keep just about everything in here that you could want. I put that jar in my purse years ago and simply didn’t have the heart to take it out.” She settled a golden mason jar on the table. The lid was gold as well as the actual beveled glass itself. “John,” she said to Rufus, “this now belongs to you. Use it to capture spells and carry them to whoever needs them.”
I stared at it, thinking of the jar in my cabinet. “Is there something special about this one? Something that makes it better to keep magic in instead of a plain old jar?”
A waking nightmare of the memory spell in my cupboard bursting from my house and smacking right into Rufus played out in my mind. He would regain his memory and destroy me—finish the job that he’d started.
Urleen shook her head. “No. It’s just the three of us spray-painted it when we were younger.”
“And a good time that was,” Malene said.
The coffee shop’s door opened and in walked Willard. Malene gave him the stink eye.
Willard caught it and tipped his head. “Malene, you’re looking lovely this morning.”
Malene glowered. “You keep insulting me like that, and I’ll zap your butt with electricity.”
Willard grinned widely. “I look forward to it.”
As he approached the counter, Malene mumbled, “That man gets my goat.”
“Do you like anyone?” I said.
Her lips pursed. “I like you, John and my girls.”
“Sometimes I think we’re on the outs,” Norma Ray said.
“Not you girls.” Malene glanced down at her bosom. “Those girls.”
Norma Ray spoke to Urleen. “She’s joking, right?”
“Yes, Norma Ray.”
Malene rose and took Rufus by the arm. “Now that you’re the new spell hunter, you can start by rounding up some spells for us. What I wouldn’t give for a good old-fashioned wrinkle remover. Do you think we could go search for one of those?”
Wait a minute. Malene was just going to take Rufus and leave? Like, she was going to take him spell hunting?
They were just accepting him without knowing anything about his past. Malene had welcomed Rufus into Peachwood with open arms, not bothering to wait and make sure that he wasn’t a homicidal maniac before she got to know him.
I couldn’t help but gape openly at them. Rufus glanced at me, and my gaze darted away.
He stopped walking. “If you’d rather I help you at the barn, I’d be glad to.”
I shook my head. “No, don’t bother. Go and spell hunt. See if you can find Malene what it is she needs.”
He gave me a smile full of regret but let Malene drag him toward the door.
Norma Ray patted my shoulder. “Don’t you worry about John. Malene will take good care of him.”
I bristled. “I’m not worried about him.”
Norma Ray gave me a