The Wit & Wisdom of Discworld - By Terry Pratchett

Indroduction

THROUGH THE WARDROBE INTO DISCWORLD

1 THE COLOUR OF MAGIC

2 THE LIGHT FANTASTIC

3 EQUAL RITES

4 MORT

5 SOURCERY

6 WYRD SISTERS

7 PYRAMIDS

8 GUARDS! GUARDS!

9 ERIC

10 MOVING PICTURES

11 REAPER MAN

12 WITCHES ABROAD

13 SMALL GODS

14 LORDS AND LADIES

15 MEN AT ARMS

16 SOUL MUSIC

17 INTERESTING TIMES

18 MASKERADE

19 FEET OF CLAY

20 HOGFATHER

21 JINGO

22 THE LAST CONTINENT

23 CARPE JUGULUM

24 THE FIFTH ELEPHANT

26 THE TRUTH

26 THIEF OF TIME

27 THE LAST HERO

28 NIGHT WATCH

29 THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS

30 THE WEE FREE MEN

31 MONSTROUS REGIMENT

32 A HAT FULL OF SKY

33 GOING POSTAL

34 THUD!

35 WINTERSMITH

36 MAKING MONEY

Index

BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT

FOR YOUNGER READERS

THE BROMELIAD TRILOGY

(containing Truckers, Diggers and Wings)

TRUCKERS

DIGGERS

WINGS

THE CARPET PEOPLE

ONLY YOU CAN

SAVE MANKIND

JOHNNY AND THE DEAD

JOHNNY AND THE BOMB

THE JOHNNY MAXWELL TRILOGY

(containing Only You Can Save Mankind,

Johnny and the Dead and Johnny and the Bomb)

JOHNNY AND THE DEAD

playscript (adapted by Stephen Briggs)

DISCWORLD FOR YOUNGER READERS

THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS

THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS

playscript (adapted by Stephen Briggs)

THE WEE FREE MEN

A HAT FULL OF SKY

WINTERSMITH

FOR ADULTS OF ALL AGES THE DISCWORLD® SERIES

THE COLOUR OF MAGIC

THE LIGHT FANTASTIC

EQUAL RITES

MORT

SOURCERY

WYRD SISTERS

PYRAMIDS

GUARDS! GUARDS!

ERIC

MOVING PICTURES

REAPER MAN

WITCHES ABROAD

SMALL GODS

LORDS AND LADIES

MEN AT ARMS

SOUL MUSIC

INTERESTING TIMES

MASKERADE

FEET OF CLAY

HOGFATHER

JINGO

THE LAST CONTINENT

CARPE JUGULUM

THE FIFTH ELEPHANT

THE TRUTH

THIEF OF TIME

NIGHT WATCH

MONSTROUS REGIMENT

GOING POSTAL

THUD!

MAKING MONEY

THE COLOUR OF MAGIC – GRAPHIC NOVEL

THE LIGHT FANTASTIC – GRAPHIC NOVEL

MORT: A DISCWORLD BIG COMIC

(illustrated by Graham Higgins)

GUARDS! GUARDS!: A DISCWORLD BIG COMIC

(adapted by Stephen Briggs, illustrated by Graham Higgins)

SOUL MUSIC: THE ILLUSTRATED SCREENPLAY

WYRD SISTERS: THE ILLUSTRATED SCREENPLAY MORT – THE PLAY

(adapted by Stephen Briggs)

WYRD SISTERS – THE PLAY

(adapted by Stephen Briggs)

GUARDS! GUARDS! – THE PLAY

(adapted by Stephen Briggs)

MEN AT ARMS – THE PLAY

(adapted by Stephen Briggs)

MASKERADE

(adapted for the stage by Stephen Briggs)

CARPE JUGULUM

(adapted for the stage by Stephen Briggs)

LORDS AND LADIES

(adapted for the stage by Irana Brown)

INTERESTING TIMES

(adapted for the stage by Stephen Briggs)

THE FIFTH ELEPHANT

(adapted for the stage by Stephen Briggs)

THE TRUTH

(adapted for the stage by Stephen Briggs)

THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD

(with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)

THE SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD II: THE GLOBE

(with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen)

THE DISCWORLD COMPANION

(with Stephen Briggs)

THE STREETS OF ANKH-MORPORK

(with Stephen Briggs)

THE DISCWORLD MAPP

(with Stephen Briggs)

A TOURIST GUIDE TO LANCRE – A DISCWORLD MAPP

(with Stephen Briggs and Paul Kidby)

DEATH’S DOMAIN

(with Paul Kidby)

NANNY OGG’S COOKBOOK

(with Stephen Briggs, Tina Hannan and Paul Kidby)

THE PRATCHETT PORTFOLIO

(with Paul Kidby)

THE LAST HERO

(with Paul Kidby)

THE CELEBRATED DISCWORLD ALMANAK

(with Bernard Pearson)

THE ART OF DISCWORLD

(with Paul Kidby)

WHERE’S MY COW?

THE UNSEEN UNIVERSITY CUT-OUT BOOK

(with Bernard Pearson)

GOOD OMENS

(with Neil Gaiman)

STRATA

THE DARK SIDE OF THE SUN

THE UNADULTERATED CAT

(cartoons by Gray Jolliffe)

also available in audio/CD published by Victor Gollancz

published by Samuel French published by Methuen Drama

published by Ebury Press published by Oxford University Press

THROUGH THE WARDROBE INTO DISCWORLD

IT WAS THE WIT OF TERRY PRATCHETT THAT FIRST ATTRACTED ME to the books, and which then led to my pushing past the fur coats and finding myself in his magical world - thankfully devoid of Turkish delight and talking beavers.

One of the big questions about Discworld for a newcomer is ‘Where do I start?’ This is a tricky one. For every diehard fan of Rincewind there’s an advocate for Small Gods. For everyone who loves the ‘Witch’ or ‘City Watch’ books, there is another who prefers the ‘one theme’ books, such as Soul Music and Moving Pictures. I, as it happens, kicked off with Mort.

Terry writes fantasy - but his books are grounded firmly in reality. They contain heroes (not many), cowards, villains, bigots, crooks, the strong-willed and the weak-willed. Sometimes they are human. A lot of the time they are not. The series extends across many genres and deals with real issues. But Terry uses his wit to sharpen his pen; the humour in the books can be dark, and it can be so corny you may groan out loud as you read him on the train.

In producing this book, I have not tried to extract every single gag and witty exchange from the series. There are too many, and to do that, I might just as well have tied a set of the novels up with string and added a tag: ‘The Complete Wit of Pratchett’.

What I have done is re-read every book in the canon, and pull out the extracts that appealed to me. Sometimes they’ll be a page long, sometimes they’ll be a single line of text. Sometimes a really good gag has been omitted because it needs the buildup that the novel can give but which would take too long to set up in a book of quotations. Here and there, I’ve had to change the odd word, or omit the occasional phrase, to help the

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