times she paused to smooth out the sand and start over a letter, so it took her quite a while to write, “We love you, Mommy. Please show us the way.”
After Mattie had finished her drawing, she helped her father sprinkle more coral within her footsteps. Alak also assisted, gathering coral and placing piles of it near the edges of her creation. The three of them filled the troughs made by her passing feet until the entire image, and the words, were highlighted in white.
Mattie wasn’t sure what to think when she stepped back and looked at her creation. She knew that it was one of the most beautiful drawings she’d ever done, and that her mother would be proud of her for bringing it to life. But what if her mother couldn’t see it? What if her mother had gone to a place so far away that she’d never again see any of her drawings? Mattie despaired at such a thought. She wanted to feel her mother, to know that her mother could see the boat and the words. Just knowing that her mother could observe the drawing would shine such a light on her.
“It’s lovely, Roo,” Ian said, taking her hand.
Mattie nodded, not wanting to talk, knowing that talking would make more tears tumble.
“Should I snap a photo?” he asked, as he pulled a small digital camera out of his day pack.
“No.”
“No? Are you sure?”
“It’s for Mommy. I only want her to see it.”
He put the camera back. “I’m dead cert she’s smiling right now, at what you’ve drawn.”
“I hope so.”
“It’s a beaut, Roo. A real gem.”
“Thanks.”
He looked up at the sky, at dark clouds to the north. “I hate to say it, but I reckon we should buzz off.”
“It’s going to rain, isn’t it?”
“Aye, aye, First Mate.”
Mattie walked to the longboat and climbed over the gunwale. She sat on the front bench, near the bow. Alak told her how much he enjoyed her drawing and she thanked him for his help. His smile revealed crooked and crowded teeth. “I’m glad your boy came back to you,” she said, taking a final glance at her boat.
Alak shrugged. “I still miss my first son. So much. But now my heart, it is not as empty as before.”
“Do you think your wife and your children, the ones who died in the tsunami, do you think they can see you?”
“I am Buddhist, so I believe what Buddha say, that everyone wander through many births.”
“Many births?”
“Everyone born and die many times. Like how the sun goes and comes each day. My family, the waves take them away from me. For long time, I want to die too. But then my new son is born, and I feel lucky to have him. I see my old son in his smile, so my hurt not as bad as before.”
Mattie saw that her father was also listening to Alak’s words. “Thank you for taking us here,” she said.
“You are welcome.”
She watched him move to the back of the boat and start the engine. Soon they were out in the open sea, headed back to Ko Phi Phi, which was shrouded in mist and storm clouds. Despite Alak’s words about rebirth, Mattie was afraid for the first time on the trip. She felt so alone, so little. Her mother hadn’t come back to her.
Mattie imagined the sea rising to create the tsunami that had killed Alak’s family. This wave picked her up, carrying her forward, plunging her into darkness. She searched the sky, looking for signs of her mother, looking for something. But the world seemed to have turned black.
She reached for her father’s hand, holding it tight. He must have sensed her fear, for without a word, he lifted her up once again and positioned her on his lap. He kissed the back of her head, then carried her, moving backward, under the canopy.
He put his arms around her as the longboat plowed forward, into rising waves, into shadows and doubt and a cold rain.
INDIA
A Tear on the Cheek of Time
“WHEN YOU WERE BORN, YOU CRIED AND THE WORLD REJOICED.
LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE,
THE WORLD CRIES AND YOU REJOICE.”
—INDIAN SAYING
“I have a surprise in store for you,” Ian said, patting Mattie’s knee. “What?” “You’re about to be a princess, Roo. Imagine that.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Just look out your window and watch. You’ll see.”
Mattie did as he suggested—staring out of their decrepit taxi, studying the countryside of southern India. She hadn’t expected things to