Winter's Bride - Candace Wondrak Page 0,43

me, if Ishan hadn’t stepped in.

How could I possibly entertain the idea of staying here with him after that? Was I mad?

The echo of footsteps was faint, at first, but I heard them. I heard them, and I squared my shoulders, though I refused to turn around, even as the footsteps emerged from the adjacent hall and came into the throne room.

Abner, because of course it was him. Who else would it be? It seemed he wandered the castle nightly, too. Though I’d been hoping not to see anyone—especially tonight, after that dream, with my body still feeling so warm and wanting—it wasn’t as if I could change it now.

“You’re still here.” Abner’s voice rang out, though he only whispered it, and although he was still a good ways away from me, it was as if he whispered that right into my ear.

When my body shivered that time, it didn’t shiver because it was cold. “Did Ishan not tell you that I asked for a month to decide?” Of course he had to know I was still here; his messenger dropped food at my door each day, every mealtime. He and I just hadn’t seen each other since our last confrontation.

He must’ve been careful to be quiet as he walked, for the next time he opened his mouth, I found he was much closer than he’d been before, probably around ten feet behind me. “You should’ve gone with him,” he told me, his voice coming out so sad. “There is no choice here, nothing left for you to decide, Morana.”

I pulled off the throne, slow to face him, to meet his melancholy expression. Abner stood, his shoulders slumped, just far enough I couldn’t reach him, but close enough I could see the pain in his silvery eyes. I should not feel anything toward him, should not feel my heart ache for him or my body wanting to pull itself closer to him, but I did.

I did, and that was the problem here, why I couldn’t just leave him and not look back. Even with Ishan at my side, I could never forget the lonely god of Winter, his sins, his desires, his sorrow.

Abner shook his head, his jaw tense. He wore an ensemble of light blue and white clothes, the clothing itself regal, but the way he held himself was anything but. I did not know of a king that could ever look so utterly forlorn, lost in his own home. “Everything you said, you were right. I put others in danger for selfish reasons, take women from their homes, from their families, to become my bride—but they only end up frozen. Over and over I’ve tried, even though the end result is always the same.”

And then, when Abner said what he said next, I felt my heart break a little inside my chest.

“I’m a monster.”

Silence stretched between us, long, heavy silence. A lump had formed in my throat, stopping me from saying anything. Listening to him, watching him, I knew he wasn’t lying. I knew this was not some facade to lower my guard; Abner genuinely felt like this, and even though I should feel nothing for him, I hurt for him all the same.

“You belong with my brother,” Abner went on, shaking his head somewhat. His eyes looked at me for a while, but his head eventually turned away, a frown gracing his lips. “He won’t hurt you. He’ll never hurt you.”

I knew what he wasn’t saying: Ishan won’t hurt you, but I might. I might, and I won’t realize I’m doing it until it’s too late.

By the gods, I knew I should hate him. I should, for all he’d done, for all his cold, freezing magic did to the kingdom outside these walls. I should want to run to Ishan and not waste a thought on him, never let him grace my dreams again. I had Ishan’s favor, after all, been kissed by Summer’s glow since I was a child. Everyone had known it.

And yet… and yet I could not stop myself from taking a measured step toward him, from lifting a hand to his face and gently turning that sorrowful gaze back to me. I could not stop my body from leaning in toward his, my hand from weaving up, past his cheekbones and into the white tufts of hair on the side of his head.

Such soft, thin strands, cut short to frame his head, and yet he still did not look like a god standing