Winning my Best Friend's Girl - Piper Rayne Page 0,60
good. I apologized to him. They’re not even seeing each other anyway, but it opened my eyes. If she can’t take all of me, everything about me, then there’s no future for us, regardless of how much I love her.”
“Are you sure you’re my little brother? You sound way too mature.”
“Yes, it’s me. I can be level-headed and an adrenaline junkie. I just wanted to let you know that I’d made a decision. I know you’ve been worried about me.” I head toward the door.
“Can I ask you one question before you rush out of here?”
I circle back around and wait.
“Did you ever think that you might not love her enough if you’re not willing to change at all for her? Relationships are give and take. Yes, she should accept that you have this adrenaline junkie side, but you being unwilling to compromise isn’t really a sign of a man in love.”
I throw my hands in the air. “What do you want from me? You don’t want her here because you’re worried she’s going to crush me, and I’ll fall into a depression all over again. Then you say yeah, be friends with her, and now you’re telling me I should change my ways so I can be with her? What the fuck?”
He throws his apple core into the trash can and leans on the edge of his desk. “I think you’ve misconstrued my advice. I love Stella, and I can see why you fell for her. But you seem to want her on your terms. Put yourself in her shoes before you assume that the reason you two aren’t working out is all on her. She moved to New York. You weren’t banned from crossing the border. There wasn’t a line of National Guardsmen refusing you entry into New York state. You didn’t follow because you were hurt. Which is fine. Understandable even.”
I feel the adrenaline spike in my system. “I honestly can’t believe this. You told me not to go!”
“I told you not to be a smoke jumper too, but you didn’t listen to me then.” His voice raises to match my level. “You were too scared to go after Stella.”
I stare at his whiteboard, all the biology lingo written there for his students. “Have you never been scared?” I ask in a quieter voice.
He laughs. “Are you kidding me? I left a career in baseball to come raise you and the rest of our siblings. I then decided again to forego my dream to live here with Holly. And parenthood? I’m shittin’ my pants every damn day. But guess what? I did it.”
“What if I give up everything for her and she just runs away again?”
This is the first time I’ve said out loud what I’m really afraid of. It feels scary as hell and yet somehow freeing.
He raises his eyebrows. “That’s why it’s scary—because of the unknown. But think about it. Do you honestly think if she didn’t feel for you the way you do for her, that your relationship would still be so back and forth? Maybe this so-called break the two of you are taking is good. It’ll let each of you take a time-out and see what you really want.”
I sit for a second and think it over. When I dropped her off, I was prepared to remove her from my daily life. Now I come here and I’m second-guessing my decision. Great.
“But you have to find out how much you love her. How willing are you to bend? And how important to you is her being in your life? Those are the big questions, and I never really understood them until I was older than you.”
“I really wish I wouldn’t have come to talk to you,” I grumble, now more confused than ever.
He laughs. “Love’s a bitch. It can make you a little crazy, that’s for damn sure.”
The school bell rings. “I should go.”
“You know where to find me if you need an AA meeting again.”
I raise my eyebrows at him.
“You know… Austin advice, AA get it?” He laughs at his own joke. God, he’s already turning into a dad with corny jokes.
“Thanks, and good luck with the second kid thing.”
He nods. “Be careful and keep your head on straight.”
I smirk, opening the door and leaving my big brother with a mass of teenagers filing toward his door. They have to be harder than dealing with me, right?
Twenty-Three
Stella
“Stella?” my mom calls from the front door of the house.