The Wind's Call (The Broken Lands #4) - T.A. White Page 0,83

got her into trouble. I don't care if she's good with weapons. I'm good enough for the both of us."

"She sounds like an impossible contradiction," Eva observed.

He leaned back. "Then it's just as well I have no intention of ever taking a partner."

"You forgot to say she'd also have to be alright with your devotion to Fallon," Eva teased.

"She certainly wouldn't waste her time on unimportant or unproductive imaginings."

"Is that why you're here? Punishing yourself?" she asked suddenly. "Because you feel you failed him?"

*

Eva held her breath at Caden’s sudden silence, aware she had trespassed onto dangerous territory. The easy way he’d held himself had disappeared. The camaraderie of before evaporated like insubstantial water vapor as she found herself wishing she could take the question back.

His eyes lifted to hers, the look in them vaguely threatening. "What would you know of such things?"

Eva almost flinched at the snap to his voice, catching herself at the last second.

"I know any of your men could have performed the same task," she returned in an even voice. He was hurting and like most warriors when he hurt, he lashed out, the inflicting of pain as intuitive as breathing. "There was no reason to come on this expedition yourself, unless you had some other reason."

"And you?" he asked. "You say you hold no condemnation toward your former village for consigning you to death."

"I don't," Eva defended. What did that have to do with anything? "They didn't know any better. They did what they thought was best."

"And yet you refuse to allow anyone here close. Even those you profess to care about." His gaze locked on hers, weighing her. Judging. "You hold yourself apart."

"I don't do that," she argued.

He lifted one eyebrow, unimpressed. "You do. With Hardwick and Ollie, and all the rest. Fiona and the other women have made overtures and yet you barely give them your time."

"Is that what this is?" she asked. "I share a hard truth about you, and you point out my own hard truths?"

He fell silent as he watched her.

She sighed. Fine. If that's how he wanted it. "I know I hold myself apart. It hurts when the people you think are yours, betray you. Even worse is when you feel like you've betrayed them in turn."

His gaze sharpened.

She looked away; something about the quiet of the mountains and the gentle crackle of the fire prompted her to share more than she should, to reveal the silent pain she carried around with her, a burden she could never set down try as she might.

"I'm a coward for not staying and facing them. They wouldn't have canceled the sacrifice even without me there." She fiddled with her sleeve. "Running only meant someone died in my place."

That knowledge was a hard thing to live with. Worse, was the thought that they’d likely sacrificed someone she knew and loved. Perhaps her older brother, newly married or maybe her younger sister who would have been fourteen this year.

Someone would have died in her place.

Eva hated that. It made her feel small and helpless. In the darkest part of night, she couldn't help but blame herself. If she hadn't rejected Rob’s marriage proposal, if she had just been normal, maybe things would have turned out different.

Even then, she couldn't bring herself to fully embrace that self-flagellation. She liked where she'd ended up. She wouldn't trade it even to save another.

And for that she hated herself.

Caden's gaze didn't move from hers. "Is that why you won't use the tent gifted to you?"

"That tent." Eva swore. "It's all any of you harp on about."

"For all the time you've spent with us, you still know us so little," he said. "The tent you see as a burden is the physical embodiment of the Trateri's acceptance of your place among the clans. It means you're one of us. Entitled to our loyalty and protection. Rebuffing it is a rejection of us."

Eva's smile was humorless. "Then perhaps someone should have shown me how to set it up instead of simply tossing it at me."

"You could have asked for help," he pointed out.

"Because that is something the Trateri are known to do, ask for help." Eva shook her head. Not in a million years.

His expression was thoughtful. "But you’re not Trateri."

Eva rolled onto her side and shut her eyes. "And therein lies the problem."

"I think you have mistaken being one of us as the answer to all your problems," he said. "No people are perfect. You would have still faced