Dedication
Kitty: Ok, I love Evelynn a little bit right now.
Auryn: Yep, me too. She really made this a lot easier for us, making sure we didn't screw up the trans characters.
Kitty: Oh, I was just thinking that she kept you out of the book long enough for me to write all the good parts.
Auryn: Ok there's that. She's also the reason why I got to write the best scenes, though. I mean, she's MY fan, after all.
Kitty: Nope, I'm claiming her too. This book wouldn't have been possible without her, so you're going to have to share!
Auryn: I don't think that came out like you meant it to...
Kitty: Or maybe it did! ;-}
Chapter 1
Standing behind the counter at the GasNGo, Rhaven slowly flipped through her phone. That made it easier to avoid looking at her reflection in the glass of the drink coolers along the far wall. Daylight streamed in through the large front windows, turning those coolers into mirrors, but she hated what they showed.
A man.
In truth, she looked more like a boy. Nearly shoulder-length dark hair, a baggy blue shirt, scrawny arms, and a lean face. Even at twenty-two years old, she looked like some high school kid, but that was mostly due to the hormones. Her best friend, Kate, kept reminding her that this was the hard part, being stuck in the middle where the hormones were starting to work but the effects were still building. Makeup helped, but that was hard to explain in a town like Prescord, Montana.
Around here, people liked to keep things simple. Those born with a penis were boys. A vagina made them a girl. There were no other options. And so, Rhaven's name tag said "Ethan," and the customers came in and dropped sirs without even thinking. When they looked at the kid behind the counter, all they saw was a guy - because that was how it had to be.
The gaming conventions were the only place where she could be herself. There, they called her Rhaven, considered her one of the gamer girls, and made her feel like she was completely and totally normal. One weekend every other month. That was what kept her sane, and the next one was coming up quickly - yet not fast enough.
Already, the notices were starting to come through on her phone. This tournament was going to be in Denver, on the last weekend of May. Each year, the dates changed slightly, but Denver marked Rhaven's one year anniversary with the Professional League of Gamers. Not that she was a professional with the PLG, or even a signed gamer. It was simply the closest tournament location to her home, so it had been the first event she'd ever attended.
What most people didn't realize was that it was also the first time she'd been brave enough to show up in public as a woman. The feeling she'd had when everyone simply accepted her as female? That had been the kind of euphoria she'd thought was impossible. She'd passed. For a while there, she'd just been another woman trying to follow in QQ's shadow, hoping to make a name for herself as a professional gamer, and no one had thought anything of it.
Rhaven flipped through the pictures she had of that event. It was only a few selfies and plenty of the high table - but the sound of the door made her look up. A young man held it open for his girlfriend. The couple made their way in and Rhaven smiled at them politely before glancing out to see where they'd parked. Sure enough, the car was at the pumps, filling up. With a sigh, she shoved her phone back into her pocket, turned to the register, and checked the payment type while the pair went searching for snacks.
It didn't take long before the couple was dropping their haul on the counter to be rung up. "Anything else for you?" Rhaven asked, forcing her voice a little lower.
"No, sir," the girl replied, smiling kindly.
It felt like a knife. Rhaven hated that word. Hated the way people looked at her as if they were being polite when they said it, completely unaware of how much it hurt. Sir implied male. It meant they saw the same lie that she did when she looked in the mirror. It was just one more way to prove that she was stuck with no way out, but Rhaven still smiled back.
"Cash or credit?" she asked instead.
"Credit," the guy replied, wrapping