“She is staying, for a time, anyway. While she’s here, she deserves a name,” he insisted. “She shouldn’t be anonymous, even for a short time.”
After a moment, Sharon Lynn smiled. “How about Cordelia, then? After the man who found her.”
He laughed, even though something deep inside him yearned to say yes. It would give him a lasting connection to this baby no matter what happened, but Cordelia? No way. He shook his head. “She’d never forgive us.”
“If she goes back to her family, she’d probably never even know. It would just be between us,” Sharon Lynn said pointedly.
He grinned. “You hankering for another secret?”
“Maybe.”
“No. I still vote for Ashley. That’s got some class to it. I can see her growing up to run a whole cattle empire one day.”
Sharon Lynn faced him, her expression troubled. “Don’t,” she whispered, the word barely more than a broken cry.
Startled by the reaction, he stared. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t make plans for the future. Don’t look too far ahead. She could be gone tomorrow.”
Instinctively he held the baby a little tighter as if to prevent her going. “That’s the advice you’ve been hearing all day, isn’t it? That’s what had you so upset when I turned up tonight?”
She nodded. “It’s good advice. It really is. I can’t think beyond the moment.”
Cord sighed at the well-meaning logic. “You’re right, of course. I’m sorry. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.”
Her expression turned sympathetic. “I know. Believe me, I know.”
He glanced down at the baby and saw that she had finally fallen asleep. He lowered his voice to a whisper. “I’ll put her down for the night. Do you want her on your bed again?”
“I think the portable crib tonight. You can set it up in my room, next to the bed. I’ll get a blanket to put in the bottom.”
She followed him down the hall, then held the baby while he set up the portable crib they’d brought with them from Dolan’s. Cord caught a glimpse of her face for just an instant before she realized he was looking. There was a raw yearning there every bit as deep as his own. Gently he took the baby and placed her in the crib, then reached out to brush a stray curl from Sharon Lynn’s cheek. She trembled at his touch, then gazed at him with an anguished expression.
This time he was the one who whispered, “Don’t. Don’t look ahead. She’s with us now.”
She gave him a wavery smile. “Yes, she is. She’s with us now.”
When they returned to the kitchen and dinner was on the table, neither of them seemed to have much of an appetite. Though it was the last thing in the world he wanted, Cord drew in a deep breath and said, “Maybe your family is right. Maybe this isn’t such a good thing.”
She stared at him with obvious shock. “What are you saying?”
“There are professionals, people who deal with this kind of case all the time.”
“She’s not a case,” Sharon Lynn protested vehemently. “She’s a baby. She needs me.”
“And you need her,” he suggested cautiously, recognizing that his own needs ran just as deep and were just as troubling. “That’s the real danger, isn’t it?”
“Okay, yes,” she said, her eyes glittering with defiance. “But she’s all that matters. Until we know more, she’s staying with me and that’s final.”
“I just don’t want to see you hurt.”
“People get hurt all the time. They live with it,” she said flatly.
“Some pain can be avoided, though.”
“She’s staying, Cord. If it turns out there’s family to take her, somebody who can care for her properly, give her the love she deserves, I’ll deal with it.”
She said it with the strength and conviction of someone who’d survived other losses. Cord wondered if he could say it as readily. He’d spent even less time with the baby—Ashley—and already he was ready to fight to hold on to her. It was a totally irrational response, one based on emotions, not logic, but that was pretty much how he’d lived his life. His gut instincts hadn’t steered him wrong yet.
“We’ll wait and see, then,” he said finally.
“We? I’m the one responsible for her,” Sharon Lynn protested. “When did you get a say in what happens?”
Cord’s jaw tightened at the attempt to dismiss him. “Friday night, when I found her in the snow.”
“If you hadn’t been there, I would have heard the thump. I would have found her.”