Wildest Dreams - By Rosanne Bittner Page 0,259

don't mean. Part of me wants to lash out and hurt people, and another part of me feels terrible about it. I really am sorry."

The fresh pain of her mother's death was still with her, and her agony over this young man she loved so much only made the tears come harder. "You have so much, Ty and you're just... throwing it all away! You have brothers and sisters... and a wonderful father and mother. My mother is gone, and I never had any brothers and sisters. Don't wait... until it's too late to appreciate what you have, Ty. I care too much about you to see you hurting." She turned to face him, tears running down her cheeks. "I thought once that... that you cared about me, too. And then after Nathan came home and brought Ramona with him, I hardly ever saw you anymore." She sniffed and pulled away from him. "I'm sorry it happened, Ty, but sometimes God makes things happen because that's just the way it's supposed to be." She took a deep breath. "I don't know why he took my mother away, except that maybe he wanted me to come here for Christmas... to be with you."

She took a handkerchief from the pocket of her deep brown velvet dress, the hem of which was wet and dirty from walking to the cabin. Outside a wet snow had left the ground a mess, but now the snow was fast becoming a full-force blizzard. He noticed Alice's boots were covered with slush and mud, and he realized how cold she really must be.

"Come back by the stove, Alice." He put a hand to her waist and led her over to the stove. "I really am sorry about what I said, especially with you just losing your mother."

She blew her nose. "We only came here for Christmas because your mother invited us... out of the goodness of her heart," she sniffed. "If she had some other motive... I wouldn't know about it. And I only came out here because I care about you, and I think you're wrong to be hurting people the way you are, Ty... and to be staying alone like this... especially at Christmas. It's been way over a year since Ramona died." She met his eyes. "Ty, your own parents lost a son. I remember people said they had a lot of troubles for a while after that. Now look at them. They're such a loving, happy couple. They got through it, Ty, and they survived. My own father lost his wife after being together twenty-five years! How do you think that feels? Life goes on, Ty, and people make choices. Ramona made her choice, and that accident was no one's fault but her own."

He folded his arms for warmth, staying near the stove. "Everybody scared her with all their talk of how other people would make it hard for us, how our being so different would have caused problems."

"It did cause problems, before you could even marry her. Don't you see that? Ty, maybe she loved you more than you loved her."

He scowled, anger coming into his eyes. "What the hell does that mean?"

"She knew, Ty. She knew everybody else was probably right. And she loved you so much she didn't want to take the chance of making you unhappy. She had the courage to back out of it, to do what she knew was best for you, no matter how much it hurt. That's how much she loved you."

He looked away. "And I loved her enough to face the risks."

Alice leaned down and opened the draft on the stove a little so it would burn harder. "Ty, I think part of your anger is at yourself. I think you know that deep inside she did love you more than you loved her. Just ask yourself. Could you have given up the Double L for Ramona?"

He turned, meeting her gaze with a frown. "Give up the Double L?"

"Yes. If things had gotten so bad for her that she couldn't stand to live around here anymore, could you have left, for her sake?"

He just stared at her for several quiet seconds, then turned away again. "That isn't a fair question."

"I think it is. I know you loved her very much, Ty. But I think you love the Double L more, and you love your parents. You think you hate Nathan, but you only hate him because you know he was right all along."

"I don't