Wildest Dreams - By Rosanne Bittner Page 0,148

She shook her head and walked past him. "I've been a fool, Nial. I don't blame you for what you've been trying to do. I blame myself for letting it happen."

"Lettie, I—"

"Nial, I love Luke." She turned to face him. "Can you possibly understand what we share? Did you really think you could take his place?"

A deep sorrow came into his eyes. "Lettie, I admit that I love you. I can give you so much more—"

"No. You could never give me more in life than Luke can. It's something more than money and title and education, Nial; something you and I could never share." She stepped closer to him. "I never had any romantic intentions about this friendship. You were here when I needed someone to talk to, and you helped the children when they needed it; but I wanted to think it was all out of the goodness of your heart. Now I know everyone in town is talking about us, and I intend to put a stop to the gossip, because it isn't true. And someone... someone who knows men well told me everything you've done has just been a ploy to try to win my heart. Is that true, Nial? Is that the only reason you've been coming here, bringing books about medicine to Robbie, and music for Pearl? Did you truly care that my son had died, or were you just using my sorrow to get closer to me?"

Nial shook his head. "Who has told you all of this?"

"It doesn't matter. I only know it all makes sense, considering your behavior the first time you came to Montana." She sighed deeply, rubbing at her eyes. "My God," she muttered.

Nial grasped her arms. "Lettie, listen to me. Please don't hate me. I love you. I've never loved anyone as I love you, not even my first wife. You're everything a man could ever want. I've wanted to say all of this from the moment I laid eyes on you again when I came back from England. Yes, I did try to use your sorrow, but I truly cared that you had lost a son, because I can't stand to see you hurting. Luke is hurting you, too. Why do you let him do it?"

Lettie jerked away. "I've done a lot of hurting myself, and this is part of it. I don't want you to come back here alone anymore, or come when you know I'm alone. Do you understand? In fact, you would be wise to stay away altogether when Luke gets back, because by then he'll probably know you've been coming here all summer, and I don't think he'll be too happy about it. Your friendship and your interest in the children has not been genuine, Nial, and that hurts as much as anything Luke or anyone else has done. I couldn't see it, but a good talk with Henny and with Reverend Gooding, and knowing the rumors spreading about us, has opened my eyes to the truth."

"Henny put all these ideas in your head?"

"Some. It was Annie Gates who opened my eyes the rest of the way."

"Annie Gates! My God, you went and talked to that whore? She's sleeping with your husband, for God's sake! How can you overlook that? How can you forgive such a thing?"

Lettie blinked back tears. "It isn't what you think, and I could never explain in a million years how I could forgive it. One thing I do remember is that you were the first one to tell me about Annie and Luke. Now I know why you did it.

You were hoping to plant doubt in my heart, trying to confuse me even more about how I felt about Luke. That's why you came that first time, isn't it? You had heard about Luke and Annie, and you had heard I was in a sorry state because of Paul's death. It's just like Henny said. You're like a vulture, circling around, waiting for something to die."

Nial seemed to wither at the words. "Please don't put it that horribly, Lettie. Can you blame a man for trying to capture the woman he loves?"

"Yes, I can, when he uses devious ways to do it; when he plays on that woman's grief; and most certainly when that woman is married to someone else. I'm sorry, Nial, that I cannot return your love; but you always knew that I could not. I'm sorry if my accepting your friendship led you to believe there could