now, what I loved the most about those eyes was the fact that they were warm. The affection and contentment in his gaze were contagious and my nerves melted away. Not completely, but enough.
"I like the way things were before, but we could actually go on dates. As long as I don't have to wear a dress." The corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. Fuck it. He said he loved me, so I was going all in. "And if things are still good in a few months, I'd like to get a place together."
"Is that it?" he asked.
I nodded. "I'm a simple girl. It doesn't take much to make me happy."
"I want to see you every day. To wake up with you in the morning and go to sleep beside you every night," he said. "I want your clothes in my closet, your laptop on my coffee table, and three different kinds of Coke in my fridge because you like them all and can't choose just one."
My heart beat faster in my chest at his words. It sounded like he wanted me to move in with him.
"And, in a few months, when things are still good, I definitely want you living here and wearing a wedding ring. In a couple of years, I'd love to have a baby with you."
Forget beating faster, my heart was trying to race out of my chest. I gulped. "Baby?"
"Well, ideally, two, but I'd settle for one if you decided one was enough."
"I don't know anything about parenting," I said, a sweat breaking out on my upper back. "I'd probably be horrible at it."
Ben grinned and shrugged. "I don't know anything about parenting either, apart from watching Jacks drive Brody crazy. But you're a genius and I'm not a complete idiot so I think we could figure it out."
I'd never thought about having kids before.
"If kids are a deal-breaker—" he started
"They're not," I interrupted. I cleared my throat. "I just never considered it so it's a bit of an adjustment."
I tried to envision being pregnant, but my brain couldn't wrap around that. But I could imagine holding a baby with Ben's eyes. A baby that would grow up with Ben as his or her father. Despite what he said, I knew he would be an amazing father. He was patient, loving, and incredibly hands-on.
"I'll have to think about it longer than thirty seconds, but I'd definitely be willing to consider it in the future," I admitted.
Ben smiled at me. "That's all I could ask for."
I didn't bring up what he said about marriage. The baby thing had thrown me for a loop, but surprisingly, I didn't mind the idea of being married to Ben.
I understood then. This was for real. For the first time, the idea of being tied to someone in a permanent way didn't terrify me. Well, it did, but not in the same way. I didn't feel trapped. I was afraid I would mess it up.
The fear was so sharp that I grabbed Ben's hands, holding them tightly. "Please just promise me one thing."
"If it's in my power, I will."
I took a deep breath. "If I'm screwing things up, or if I'm doing something wrong, please talk to me. Give me a chance to fix it before you give up on me."
Ben released my hands and pulled me into his arms. "Hey, don't cry. That is definitely something I can promise." He hugged me tightly. "If things aren't good, we'll always talk about it."
"I'm not—" I touched my cheek and stopped talking. Shit, I was crying. I leaned deeper into him. "I don't think I could stand it if this goes bad."
"Then we'll both work on keeping it good. Right?"
I nodded, my cheek against his shoulder.
He released me and cupped my cheeks with his hands, wiping away a few stray tears with his thumbs. "I'm in this just as deep as you are, Sierra. You're not the only one who's vulnerable and afraid, okay?"
The breath I took was jerky and shallow, but it helped enough that I could speak. "Okay."
Ben kissed me, light and sweet. "Let's focus on right now and I promise you it will work out in the end."
I curled my fingers around his strong wrists, holding on to him. "Don't break my heart, Ben Murphy."
He kissed me again. "I won't, Sierra Watkins. I promise."
Epilogue
One Year Later
I laughed as Brody dragged Cam out onto the dance floor. Like me, Cam hated dancing, but Brody declared that she would