a short time, but I understood that I never would have been able to be "just friends" with Ben after what we'd shared.
"I don't know."
"If you don't know, then you shouldn't make the decision yet."
I shot her a dry look. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll wait around a month or two while I figure it out."
Cam shook her head. "That's not what I meant. Don't ghost him. Tell him the truth. All of it. Starting with why the idea of getting serious freaks you the hell out."
"That's a lot to lay on a guy after what's supposed to be just casual sex."
It was Cam's turn to give me a dry look. "The man just admitted he loved you. That doesn't sound like casual sex to me."
Ugh. I hated it when she was right.
"Fine. I'll talk to him. Tomorrow. I can't do it right now." When she shook her head, I sighed. "I'll text him tonight. Tell him that I'm sorry I freaked and we should talk. But the talk will be tomorrow at the earliest."
Cam nodded. "It's probably for the best. It'll give you a day to get used to the idea of being in love."
My stomach twisted. Not out of fear, but out of yearning. I wanted Ben to be in my life. I wanted what he offered me this morning so very badly. Badly enough that I doubted I'd ever recover if he decided to walk away later.
"For tonight, I'll make us spaghetti and meatballs and we'll have huge ice cream sundaes after. I have all the stuff in the fridge."
"Homemade ice cream?" I asked.
Cam scoffed. "Of course. I own an ice cream shop. What else would I serve you?"
I laughed, but it sounded watery. Probably because I was still crying a little. "That sounds great."
Cam squeezed my hand and released me. "I'll start right now."
"I'm going to wash my face."
When I left the living room, Cam was already in the kitchen filling a big pot with water for boiling the pasta.
I jumped when I turned on the light in the bathroom and got a load of my face. My eyes were puffy, and red and my fair skin was splotchy. I didn't understand how some women could still look pretty when they cried but I looked like I'd spent three days on a bender.
As I splashed cool water on my face, my cell phone rang. I assumed it was Ben, so I ignored it. I wasn't ready to hear his voice yet. I would text him the way I told Cam I would, but not yet. I needed a few moments to steady myself. Or a few hours.
The phone stopped ringing, only to begin again immediately. I frowned, dried my face and hands, and pulled it out of my back pocket.
It wasn't Ben. It was Mr. Barnes, my boss.
Great. It was probably another problem that only I could solve. Well, I'd promised him I'd work remotely if he extended my vacation and an emergency popped up. Apparently, this was an emergency.
I lifted the phone to my ear.
"Watkins. I need you in the office on Monday," he demanded without preamble.
"Hello, Mr. Barnes. I thought I was approved to work remotely for the foreseeable future."
He sighed. "You were, Watkins. But we've got a problem. We tried to implement one of your suggestions and we've hit a snag. We need you to straighten it out. Here. In the office."
I bit back a sigh of my own. Seriously? I was not indispensable. I could think of at least two other engineers in that office who could have personally walked him through the steps I outlined in my emails.
"I'm afraid that I won't be able to make it back into the office by then. How about Wednesday?" I asked. Yes, I totally could, but I was having an emotional meltdown and I needed a few more days to get my shit together.
"If you want to keep your job, you'll be here on Monday," he stated.
I scowled and bit back the angry retort that leaped to my tongue. What a dick!
"What time is the meeting?" I asked. "I'll see if I can arrange travel to get me there."
"Eleven a.m."
"I'll do my best to be there on time," I replied. The words were polite and the correct response, but I didn't try to hide the acid in my tone. I was pissed and I honestly didn't care if he knew it.