He even tried to teach me how to cook. We started with a simple stir-fry. It was a lot of chopping, which I got bored with, so I drank iced tea while watching Ben chop the veggies. Then, I got distracted by how sexy he looked in the kitchen and we ended up making out for so long that the meat and veggies burned.
Thank God for frozen cauliflower pizza.
I should have known it was too good to be true. We spent all our free time together and it had to end sometime.
Unfortunately, the ending turned out to be a fucking mess.
My eight weeks of leave were almost up, but I didn't mention it to Ben because I fully intended to work remotely until I absolutely had to go into the office. I refused to think too hard about what would happen next. I was still enjoying Ben's company, so why mess with a good thing?
Unfortunately, it all started going downhill when I pulled my head out of my ass. Yes, I was in denial. I didn't realize it until much later, but I was.
I woke up one Saturday morning, nearly eight weeks to the day since my first time with him, to Ben's touch. His hands wandered over my body. Not in a sexual way, but as if he wanted to memorize every curve and angle, the bones and the softness.
I stretched under his caress and shifted my head from where it rested on his shoulder so that I could see his face.
"Feeling me up while I sleep, huh?"
He smiled at me, a slow, lazy smile that brightened his hazel eyes. He looked younger when he smiled like that.
Then, he kissed me. It was as lazy as his smile, as soft as his touch, and full of tenderness and something else. It was nearly chaste, but I felt it deep in my chest.
My senses awakened. The morning light was pearlescent, gilding Ben's body and casting a golden tint to his flesh. The scent of his skin filled my head. He rolled over on top of me, settling between my thighs.
We were both already naked and I reveled in the feel of his body against mine—the vaguely coarse feeling of his chest hair against my nipples, the heat that emanated from him, and the steady thump of his heart beneath my palms as I touched him.
I wanted him to touch me, everywhere, and I wanted to do the same to him, but there was no desperation. Only the desire to fully experience every part of him.
My hands wandered lower to curl around his erection. He was hard and ready in my palm as I stroked him. I wanted him inside me, moving just as slow and deep as the motion of my hand on him.
He broke the kiss and reached into the nightstand for a condom. I took it from him when he opened the packet, sheathing him.
And he gave me what I wanted.
Our faces were only inches apart as he slid inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath as he entered me fully. I kissed him, needing to feel connected in every way possible.
Ben moved, his thrusts measured. His lips moved from mine to my neck and down to my nipples. I arched into his mouth and moaned.
I threaded my fingers through his hair and tugged him up, bringing his mouth back to mine.
Though I wanted it to last for hours, my body grew tighter and my breath trembled.
"That's it," Ben whispered against my lips. "Come for me."
He picked up the pace, going just a little deeper and a little harder, and I couldn't hold back anymore.
I gasped and kissed him again as I came. His body tensed against mine, his steady rhythm fracturing as I pulled him over the edge with me.
Ben pulled back and locked gazes with me. I couldn't look away. I was trapped between the ecstasy he brought my body and the emotions rushing through me. I couldn't escape either.
I was falling in love with him. I couldn't ignore it or deny it any longer. For the first time in my life, I could imagine forever with someone. And it was terrifying.
I couldn't do this, couldn't leave myself open for the hurt that would inevitably follow. When it came to heartbreak, I had too much bad karma on my soul. I'd broken hearts and crushed feelings. Sure, I hadn't meant to, but that didn't change the fact that I had done it.