As he walked inside, I looked around the McClanes' pretty backyard, thinking about how complicated family could be and wondering if I was blessed or cursed for not having a bigger family.
It hit me then, all the possible complications I would have to deal with when Cam and Brody got their shit together. And I had no doubt they would. Ben and I had only hooked up twice and planned to keep things casual, but I was fairly sure that it wouldn't be long before Brody and Cam were serious.
Years ago, Colette had confided in me that she thought Brody was perfect for her daughter if they could just stop bickering. After seeing them together now, I agreed with her. If he annoyed her that much, she wouldn't have engaged. She would have frozen him out, refusing to say more than a few words to him whenever she saw him. I'd seen it before, after her college boyfriend cheated on her. She said her piece and then pretended he didn't exist.
If she really despised Brody, she would have done the same thing to him.
Now that she was on that path with Brody, I knew I needed to stop hooking up with Ben. Their relationship was just starting, but I was pretty sure they would be together for a good, long while. That's the type of people they were. Relationship people. And they didn't give up on the people they cared about.
And what were Ben and I? We'd just met and only had sex twice. We weren't anything.
I also knew Cam. She put other people first. If Ben and I stopped seeing each other, even if it was amicable, she would feel awkward. Even though it wasn't a real relationship. I didn't want her to feel like she had to take sides.
A few minutes after Brody had gone back inside, Ben appeared in the back door with a concerned expression on his face. "Hey, you okay?" he asked.
I nodded, my brain moving too fast for my mouth to form words.
"What happened? Did Brody say something?"
I shook my head.
"Are you the robot version of Sierra Watkins?"
His wild question pulled me out of my silence. "What?"
Ben's eyes twinkled, but he didn't smile. "You weren't speaking. I was worried the alien robot invasion had started."
"Har, har. I do know how to be quiet."
"I guess I haven't really seen that side of you yet," he said. "But I'll be sure to pay attention when it happens."
Shit. He would never see my quiet side. Because we weren't going to keep doing this.
"I think Brody is going to make a play for Cam," I said absently.
"Like I said last night, it's about time. I think she'll be good for him," Ben said. "She doesn't let him get away with any bullshit but she's sweet, too. So after she tears him a new one, she'll give him a back rub."
I had to laugh at that because it was so true. Cam would give tough love but followed it with nurturing.
"But it does make things sort of difficult between us," I said, gesturing from me to him. "Brody didn't say all that much but I think he's got serious feelings for her."
"Why does that make things harder? I understand why you don't want her to know, but you and I are on the same page."
"I just don't think it's a good idea for us to continue. If it could possibly impact my best friend in a negative way..." I left it at that.
Ben studied me for a long moment. Finally, he said, "I get where you're coming from, but I've been having a lot of fun with you the last week."
I had fun with him, too.
He paused as if considering something and asked, "What if we took sex out of the equation?"
My mouth fell open. Say what?
Ben laughed and I realized I'd said that last bit out loud in my surprise. "Don't get me wrong, the sex has been fucking hot, but I have fun with you just eating dinner and watching a movie. I haven't dated a lot of women who haven't had, um, an agenda. But you don't and that's—" He cut himself off, shaking his head. "Jesus, that sounds way more pathetic when I say it out loud. You know what, I get it. We should definitely take a step back."
He started to turn back toward the house. My brain decided that was for the best but my mouth, my stupid, stupid mouth, had no