I just wished the people around the table were my real family. It sounds strange, I know.
I never had dinner with my parents growing up. My nanny fed me dinner before she gave me a bath and got me ready for bed and my parents ate after they came in for the obligatory "tucking in" that never included them reading me a story. That was what they paid the nanny for.
It wasn't until I met Cameron McClane that I learned how wonderful family mealtimes could be. Every Sunday, her parents had a big lunch after church that included Cam, her brother, J.J., and any other stragglers or misfits that they had taken under their collective wing. Colette McClane loved having people at her table and she often welcomed any of her children's friends and their families with them. And bless Cam's generous heart, she took pity on her socially awkward college roommate and brought me home with her over Thanksgiving our freshman year. I had no idea what she told her mother, but Colette took me aside before we left and told me that I was always welcome in her home, even if Cam and I weren't friends anymore.
That was never an issue, thank God, but I never forgot.
Today was the first day since then that I wished I hadn't come.
And it wasn't until the moment Colette looked at me and asked, "So are you still seeing Brian?"
As soon as I heard the casual but pointed question, I choked on the bite of chicken enchilada I'd just put in my mouth. Dr. McClane had just gotten out of his chair, probably to give me the Heimlich maneuver, when I managed to swallow the bite and wave him off.
"I'm." Cough. "Okay." Cough.
"Are you sure?" Dr. McClane asked.
God, I wished my own father was as concerned with my welfare.
"I'm fine, I promise." Cough, cough.
He gave me one more thorough look and sat back down.
I sipped some iced tea and cleared my throat one last time. I looked up and found Colette's knowing gaze on me.
"When did you break up?" she asked.
"Last month."
I couldn't stand the sympathy and disappointment on her face for another second, so I glanced away. Unfortunately, I found another set of piercing eyes on me.
J.J.'s best friend, Brody Murphy, and his daughter, Jacks, had joined us for lunch today. Brody's younger brother, Ben, had also arrived, though he was late. As Colette and Malcolm had done with me, they'd taken in the Murphy brothers as part of the family. I didn't know the entire story, but I had a feeling that the brothers' parents were a lot like mine—they preferred to love from a distance.
As he'd arrived late, Ben Murphy had taken the open seat across from me and it had been difficult not to stare at him the entire time we were eating because he was gorgeous. And nothing like the men I usually dated.
Everything about him screamed bad boy. From his black t-shirt with the faded AC/DC emblazoned across the front to the snug Levi's that hugged his thighs and ass like they were made specifically for him. He'd arrived straddling a huge, snarling motorcycle, which made Colette frown though she seemed satisfied to see him wearing a helmet.
Now, he was staring at me as though he knew exactly why I'd choked when Colette asked me about Brian. Like he could read every thought in my head. I knew it wasn't possible but it was still unnerving to be watched like that. Studied as if I were truly interesting.
He broke our gaze and turned to Colette before she could continue her line of questioning.
"So when are you going to leave Malcolm for me, Colette? I'm younger and I won't make you work as my office manager. I'll treat you like a queen." He added a devilish smile to the words, which caused Colette's face to turn bright pink.
"Stop flirting with my wife, Benjamin Murphy, or you won't be invited back," Cam's father deadpanned. Probably because he knew his wife would never leave him. They adored each other. My parents spent a lot of time together, but they weren't openly affectionate the way the McClane's were. Colette and Malcolm were very much a team. It was beautiful to see and something I hoped I could have someday, even though I doubted my ability to find it.
I wanted to love my husband the way Colette loved Malcolm and in my last two relationships, I'd cared about them