to take time away from being my bodyguard. I want him to have it all, but the selfish parts of me wish I could have him all too.
Banks bobs his head up and down. “This is probably the most time I’ve got with you, too. I’m not taking it for granted.”
Time with me.
I didn’t realize how precious they really thought it was. My heart swells. Lifting me up for an enduring second. While I pick at my knotted ankle bracelet, I try hard to contain a smile. “I feel the same,” I say softly. “Having time with both of you has been pretty fucking sweet.”
It’s special to be able to experience some firsts without the pressure of the media. Without worrying about stepping outside onto a street with paparazzi. Out here, I feel free and untamed. Able to be the most me I can be. And maybe I wouldn’t be so comfortable if it weren’t for Akara and Banks.
It’s what I always wanted.
Yearned for.
That kind of comfort from a guy that could ease me into experiencing new things. I just never thought I’d be this comfortable with two guys. And after the cougar attack, there’s nothing more I want than to return to that feeling that night.
The warmth.
The warmth.
It was nothing like I’d ever felt before. Feeling protected from the inside out.
“That clarify things for you?” Banks asks me.
“Sort of,” I breathe. “You both are enjoying spending time with me, like I am with you. But does that mean we should do more than kiss again?”
“I want to,” Banks says.
Akara quickly adds, “I do, too.”
“Even if we’re all in the same tent? Like last time?”
They exchange one look, like they’re asking each other silently if they’re cool with it, then they focus on me and nod. I couldn’t tell whether they have experience being intimate with multiple people at once before, but with that look, I’m guessing being together isn’t the norm.
So out loud, I ask, “Have you two been in the same room during a finger-fuck or some cock-in-pussy action before?”
Banks laughs, “No.”
“Except for last time with you,” Akara clarifies.
Interesting.
It eases me a little. My exploration doesn’t feel like a solo journey. We’re on this great, vast voyage together, and we all begin to smile because we’re seeing where it’ll take us.
Out here in the woods, there are no restrictions or boundaries or boxes we need to jump in.
We’re free to just be.
So I forget about back home and the final rose. It’s just right now in the present moment with them.
Akara sweeps me for a second. “We’re just waiting for you, Sul. We’re not going to push you or quicken your pace.”
I laugh at that. “Kits, you know my pace is far faster than yours.”
He scoots closer to me. So does Banks. My pulse thumps harder.
Akara slides his fingers over my ankle bracelet. His feather-light touch sends a shiver across my skin. “You can outpace both of us on foot, sure. But that’s not the kind of pace I’m talking about.”
That was…hot.
Heat envelops around me. Warmth—I want to reach out for it. It’s swimming in the air, but it’s not in me yet.
Banks skates a finger over my other ankle. His touch is just as frustratingly light as Akara’s. “It’s important that you set this pace, Sulli. We’re more experienced than you.” He pauses, then adds, “And if you wanna talk about it before we do anything—we can. It’s not something that has to be jumped into without a conversation.”
Akara nods. “Communication is important.”
I raise my brows even more.
He gives me a look. “Even if I can be shit at it sometimes, it’s important.”
Taking a breath, I set my hands on my knees. “You know it’s funny, I’m probably the most competitive person I know. And never once have I looked at sex as this thing to achieve. It’s never been a goal.”
“Do you still feel that way?” Akara asks, concern behind his brown eyes.
“Yeah, I fucking do.” I smile at that thought. “I want it because I know it’ll make me feel good, and I’ve always wanted that experience. But not until I found someone I was comfortable with. Not until now.” I run my thumb over my kneecap. “So it’s hard to figure out what pace I want because I enjoy sprinting more than marathon running. But for swimming, I chose the 200m and 400m freestyle over the 50m because I always felt like the 50m was too fast. It was over too quick, you know.