I shrug slowly. “I…I don’t know.” Now after kissing Banks, everything is more complicated.
She plants a sisterly gaze onto me. Consoling. Comforting. “Doubt only lasts so long. You’ll have a better sense of things in time. I’m sure of it.”
I smile. “Thanks, Jane.”
We hug again, and when she leaves, the motel room is eerily quiet. I hope I didn’t make a fucking mistake telling them to go on without me.
My phone pings.
Heads up, Minnie. The rest of the A-Squad are on their way to you! Sorry I couldn’t make it. Tom is freaking about his next show. He had a fight with the replacement drummer – Queen of Thebula
Luna.
The A-Squad is mostly an inside joke between us. She dubbed the five oldest of the families that nickname, which include Jane, Maximoff, Charlie, Beckett, and me. But with Jane, Moffy, and Charlie as a clique right now, I’m feeling more like a member of the B-Team. Which doesn’t even really exist.
I text back: Thanks for the heads up! Just saw them. All accounted for minus Beckett. Tell Tom I wish him good luck xoxo
Huh. Bad intel then. Sorry!!! Thought Beckett was going too. – Queen of Thebula
How she even gets any information is beyond me. I don’t have many lines into the family network, and the ones that I do have…I know I’m not the first or second call. Maybe not even the fifth. I’m on the bottom of so many of the family friendship groups.
It didn’t used to bother me so much until I lost Beckett. Maybe Charlie is right—I should just talk to him. But the thought of hearing his voice, it brings a sharp pain to my chest.
I don’t know how to confront that pain head-on without causing more turmoil.
Akara.
I close my eyes and drop the washcloth off my foot.
How am I going to tell him about my kiss with Banks? It’s going to change everything.
12
BANKS MORETTI
“I kissed her.”
This confession should probably be made to a priest or a higher being, but right now my brother is the most holy thing I’ve got in a five-hundred-meter vicinity. In short: I’m fucked.
Thatcher grabs my forearm and pulls me further into the shadows. Away from the motel’s flickering vacancy sign that’s changed to no vacancy. Even further away from the motel’s parking lot where the rest of SFO linger beside two rental cars.
At the corner of the motel, it’s just me and my brother. Half-hidden by an overflowing dumpster and the darkness. In earshot of nobody.
Even among busted streetlights, I can still see Thatcher’s expression clear as day. Maybe because I’ve seen that intense look before.
“Say again,” Thatcher whispers, his voice deep and low.
“I kissed her,” I reply in the same tone. “You know mouth-to-mouth—”
“I know what kissing is,” Thatcher snaps. “I’m just processing the fact that you actually went through with it.”
My brother knows I’ve been into Sulli since I’ve started spending more time with her, but like me, he’s also known that Akara Kitsuwon is in love with her. Unlike me, he’s not questioning the true depth of our friend’s denial.
The Do Not Enter sign in the direction of Sullivan Meadows was torn down tonight. I ripped through it. For better or worse, I’m here.
Just as I open my mouth, my phone buzzes. I check the message.
You’re still waiting to tell Akara right? Bc I still want to do it with you – Mermaid
I text back quickly: Haven’t told him. I promise I won’t without you
Thanks :) – Mermaid
She adds a high-five emoji. My lip almost curves up. When I pocket my phone, my brother gives me a harder look. Like he knows who that was.
“I really like her, Thatcher,” I say in an urgent whisper. “It wasn’t some impulsive thing.” My heart pounds harder, harder. “I’ve thought about it. I waited. I waited.” I tilt my head back, then forward, then thread my arms over my tight chest, agonized over something. “Akara might be my best friend, but I know I’m not his best friend. You’re it—”
“You always say that,” Thatcher interjects grumpily.
“Cause it’s the fuckin’ truth.” I raise my tensed shoulders. “You and him share responsibilities that I’ll never have. You’re his go-to. His—”
“Ride-or-die,” Thatcher finishes. “What are you getting at, Banks?”
“If you were the one to kiss Sulli, he’d keep talking to you. He’d shove past it. Me?” I shake my head firmly. Seeing Thatcher at the motel just reminds me that Akara is closer to him.