I lick my dried lips, eyes descending to the sleeping mats. “I’ll help you unfurl those.”
Rising from the mattress, I get one step ahead before Banks intercedes and plants a hand on my chest. “First, tell me what’s going on.” Concern sinks into his brown eyes.
Making me feel like a sewer. Not just a tiny paper bag full of shit. A whole fucking shit-system beneath a city.
I spit out, “She doesn’t know you’ve been flirting with her.” It’s not what I need to say, but it’s a start.
The splash of water from the shower cuts through the brief silence.
Banks’ forehead is wrinkling in confusion. “You think this is some revelation, Akara?”
Now I’m frowning. “Wait.” I hold up a hand, my voice lowering. “You knew she doesn’t think you’re flirting?”
“Akara, how many fuckin’ times do I have to go over this?” He plants his hands on my shoulders. He’s five-inches taller, but somehow we feel the same height. His eyes connecting to mine. “You flirt with her. You’ve been flirting with her for years, and you keep telling her you’re just friends. So when some guy like me comes around and actually flirts with her—what the hell did you think she’s gonna think?”
I push his hands off my shoulders. I don’t know what I thought. All I know is this… “I haven’t been flirting with her.”
Banks steeples his fingers to his lips, but his eyes sink deeper into me. It feels almost penetrating. Excavating. I’m vulnerable under his gaze, and I realize it’s because he’s slowly coming to his own understanding. “Akara,” he whispers.
“She’s like my little sister,” I say quickly, though this time it sounds like I’m trying to convince myself. How much did her dad infiltrate my head? Was it full-on Inception? For how many years? She’s like your little sister, Akara. Protect her.
Shit.
Banks shakes his head repeatedly, almost angrily.
I feel that anger inside me. At myself. I’m so pissed at myself for making this unnecessarily complicated. I end up snapping, “What?”
“What?” He points at the ground and growls, “You love her.”
“As a friend,” I combat.
“A friend?” His voice is hushed but hot with pent-up annoyance like mine. “I’ve never had friends who are girls and teased them like you tease her—”
“Guys can have platonic friends who are girls, Banks. It fucking exists.” I spread my arms.
He crosses his. “Sorry, I’m just a little fucking lost here. First she’s your sister. Now she’s your friend. Is she going to be your cousin tomorrow? Should I start pulling out the cousin-kisser jokes—”
“Fuck you,” I say plainly.
“No, fuck you,” he whispers hotly close to my face. “I want to fucking shake you, Akara. Just accept the simple truth. It’s not gonna kill you if you do.”
It won’t kill me if I do.
His words somehow punch me backwards.
I sink onto the mattress and put my head in my hands. I’ve been flirting with Sulli? I think about how I stole her baseball cap, right after she clearly had a moment with Banks in the parking lot.
Shit.
Shit.
I’ve been flirting with Sulli. Every time she’s been interested in another guy, I’ve cut in…and teased her, messed with her hair and shoved her playfully.
I’ve flirted with her.
Will Rochester, her ex-boyfriend, told me to stop flirting, and I did back off my interactions with her because I didn’t want to ruin her first relationship. I couldn’t tell her why I was being standoffish, and when she found out, that almost cost my friendship with Sulli.
She broke up with him instead.
“Shit,” I mutter out loud.
Why has this taken so long for me to recognize? My brain…I’ve just shut off the possibility that I could be flirting. Maybe because I didn’t want to stop, and now it feels like I have to.
SFO has told me I’ve been in denial, and it’s taken Banks yelling at me to finally see that I have been.
Banks sinks down on the mattress beside me.
I look over with reddened eyes. “This is all my fault. She should know what an advance looks like from a guy. I’ve screwed with that—with her.”
He squeezes my shoulder in comfort. “You’re not some Wicked Witch, Akara. It wasn’t out of cruelty.”
“Is jealousy any better?” I ask him.
Banks shrugs. “She’d understand.”
“Maybe she shouldn’t,” I mutter. “She deserves a better friend, better bodyguard—”
Banks shoves me. He literally shoves me off the fucking bed. My ass hits the floor and I look up at him like he’s nuts.