Wild Swans - Jessica Spotswood Page 0,62
got here.”
“Well, I don’t forgive you.” She rolls over to face the wall.
“I guess I’ll just have to live with that.” I sit there for a minute, listening to her breath and the lazy whir of the ceiling fan. When it becomes obvious that she isn’t going to answer me, I stand. “You can be mad at me, but don’t do stupid shit like this again, okay? Gracie worries about you too much. She needs you. You’re her big sister.”
I close the door behind me without waiting for a response.
• • •
That afternoon, Granddad takes Gracie into town with the promise of strawberry milk shakes and a new Fancy Nancy book. Erica is off God knows where, so the house is quiet. Iz came downstairs for lunch, nibbled at her turkey sandwich, and then went back upstairs for a nap. I’m sitting at the kitchen table reading Nimona again when Claire knocks at the back door.
“I was thinking we should go for a swim,” she suggests. “We’ll invite Iz. Your granddad will be happy you’re spending time with her, but I’ll be there as a buffer.”
We have already texted about the fallout from last night. “She doesn’t want to hang out with us.”
Claire grins. “Maybe not with you, but she thinks I’m pretty cool.” She sees me wince and her smile fades. “Are you jealous that your sister thinks I’m cool?”
“No.” Claire stares at me until I relent. “Maybe a little? I’d settle for her not hating me.”
“Give her time,” Claire advises. “You’re too nice to hate.”
Nice. Likeable. That’s what I want, isn’t it? But sometimes having to be nice grates.
“You can ask her to come. I don’t think she’ll say yes if I’m part of the package.”
“You are underestimating my powers of persuasion. Don’t ever do that,” Claire chides. Her dark hair is pulled back into a high, bouncy ponytail. “Go get your suit and meet Iz and me down here in five minutes.”
• • •
It takes fifteen, but somehow Claire convinces her. She even convinces Iz to wear a bathing suit. It’s a deep-purple-and-white polka-dotted tankini and Iz looks fantastic, if a little self-conscious. She keeps a towel wrapped around her waist as we walk down to the water, while Claire strips to her black bikini right in the kitchen.
I run and dive off the dock like always. “Show-off,” Claire teases like always. She wades in from the shore, wincing as every new inch of skin hits the cold water.
Iz follows Claire tentatively. “So this is where our grandmother drowned? Like, right here?” she asks. “Isn’t that kind of creepy?”
I shrug. “I try not to think about it.”
“Why didn’t Granddad move? Why would he stay here?” she asks.
I’ve wondered that myself.
“He loves this house. All the history of it,” I explain. “I guess he thinks more about the happy memories than the sad ones.”
“I think her paintings are creepy. Pretty but creepy,” Isobel declares.
“Me too,” I say.
We all look up as the roar of the lawnmower gets louder. Alex is coming around the side of the carriage house on the riding mower. He’s shirtless and wearing headphones and, by the looks of it, singing. I wave. He does not wave back. I shrink into myself. Maybe he didn’t see me?
“Cold,” Claire says. She gives him the finger.
Isobel takes a few more steps until she’s knee deep. “Why’s he mad at you?”
“It’s complicated.” I dunk under the water.
When I come back up, I hear: “…so he’s mad that she’s dating Connor. She’s never had a real boyfriend before.”
“You’ve never had a boyfriend? Mama said you were like a nun.” Iz laughs—not meanly but sort of disbelievingly—and I give her a strained smile. I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that my fifteen-year-old sister’s more experienced than me. “I’ve had three. Four if you count Josh, but that was back in sixth grade and we only held hands. Claire, do you have a boyfriend?”
It’s Claire’s turn to evade the question. “Not right now.”
“Claire doesn’t date,” I explain. “She thinks boyfriends are too much drama.”
“Relationships are too much drama, whether they’re with boys or girls. Don’t be heteronormative.” Claire turns to Isobel. “I’m bi.”
“Bisexual?” Isobel asks, and Claire nods. “My friend Rhiannon is too.”
“Really? I don’t know anyone else who’s bi. Everybody around here thinks I’m just a slut.” Claire sighs. “I can’t wait to get away from all this small-town nonsense. I’m going to go to college in DC, so you’ll have to tell me all the fun