Kalai nodded, trying hard to ignore the growing ball of ice in his stomach. Twenty-two days.
Tauran held the bathroom door open, lingering in the doorway behind him. Kalai looked over his shoulder, waiting for Tauran to close the door, but he didn’t.
“Do you, uh…” Tauran hesitated.
An intense heat rose to Kalai’s face, and he turned his head away. “I got this!”
“Okay.”
The door closed behind him. Kalai leaned against the wall, rubbing his face, his legs weak as jelly. He’d been sick for twenty-two days. How could he remember so little of that time? No doubt, Tauran had helped him eat, bathe… go to the bathroom. Embarrassment replaced the tension. It was bad enough that Tauran had to witness his occasional episodes. For almost a month, Tauran had had to care for his every need like you would an infant. And Tauran was still here.
When Kalai came back out, they were no longer alone. Aunt Iako stood by the counters, turning at the sound of the bathroom door.
“Oh, my sweet boy,” she said, closing the space between them. Her expression was full of both sadness and relief as she waved her hands at him, and Kalai bent down far enough that she could take his face in her hands. “You’ve grown so thin, so thin. You go right back to bed, and I’ll make you boys something to eat.”
“It’s good to see you,” Kalai said, softly, which was a silly thing to say, because he’d been here for almost a month, he just couldn’t remember. He resisted a sigh. He’d subjected not just Tauran to his addiction, but Iako, too. It was everything he hadn’t wanted.
He glanced at Tauran waiting quietly in the corner, wondering how he’d gotten along for twenty-two days with an old woman who only spoke Sharoani.
“You go rest,” Iako said, standing on her toes to press her lips to his brow, then patted him on the shoulder. “Go, go.”
Tauran offered Kalai a hand.
They sat on Kalai’s bed together, and for a long time, neither of them spoke. There was an awkwardness between them, as if they hadn’t seen each other in a long time.
In a way, they hadn’t.
“You need a shave. Again.” Kalai raised his hand, then changed his mind and curled it in his lap.
“Yeah, I, uh. I’ve been a little distracted.” Tauran ran a hand along his chin. His voice was far more subdued than Kalai was used to.
What had Tauran been forced to deal with? His fits of terror, of pain. His hours of screaming until his voice gave out. Tauran looked so tired, like he’d aged five years. Kalai looked down, glimpsing the book Tauran had brought from the dining room. “What are you reading?”
Tauran made a soft sound. He turned it over and held it out to Kalai. “It’s one of yours. I hope you don’t mind.”
Kalai took it, stroking his thumb over the cover. It was an old storybook, with an image of three dogs drawn on the front under the Sharoani title ‘A Puppy Life’. “It’s one of my old children’s books,” Kalai said, smiling a little. “I didn’t know she kept these.” When he looked back up, Tauran was blushing sweetly.
“Yeah. Iako found it for me. I’ve been trying to learn. Figured the puppies would make for easier reading material than, uh… whatever you got over there.” He pointed over his shoulder at Kalai’s collection of dragon documentation and history books.
“You’ve been studying Sharoani,” Kalai said, affection replacing some of the tightness in his gut.
Tauran smiled. “Kind of. I’m not very good. Actually, I’m terrible. Like I said, books really aren’t my sort of thing. The letters all melt together in my head.”
Kalai placed his hand over Tauran’s. “Still.”
Tauran blinked rapidly, and he took Kalai’s hand in both his own like he’d yearned for ages for his touch.
Kalai swallowed, overcome with sudden sadness. He couldn’t help the tears that rose in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Tauran hushed him. The bed shifted when Tauran moved closer, wrapping his arms around Kalai to guide him against his chest. “It’s okay. We knew this would be tough. And you’re okay. You got through it, and you’re okay. Skies, I missed you so much.”
Kalai sniffled, wiping his cheek to catch the stray tear. “I hardly remember anything.”
“Good,” Tauran said, a glimmer of darkness in his eyes.
Kalai knew Tauran didn’t want him to feel guilty, but it was difficult not to when he thought about Tauran having