Wild Open Hearts (Bluewater Billionaires) - Kathryn Nolan Page 0,77
thought for a second “… legal.”
“That’s good,” Beck said, with a shadow of a smile. “We’re very supportive of legal.”
“Where I was before, the people I was with before—” Jimmy looked pointedly at Beck. “It wasn’t really a situation where you were accepted for being who you are. The pressure to do things you didn’t want to do was huge and I… well, I hated it. It felt like a vise was around my chest all the time. Like I couldn’t breathe.”
I watched Beck, who seemed to be struggling a little bit to keep a neutral expression. Jimmy was talking about his time with the Miami Devils. I was sure of it.
“When I finally left that situation, I wanted to experience love. Caring for something that wasn’t only me and my needs. Working towards kindness, giving and receiving.” Jimmy peered at the dogs in his lap with pure adoration. I blinked—and tears were already rolling down my cheeks.
Jem’s hand landed between my shoulder blades.
“Dogs will do that,” Beck said simply.
“Fuck yeah, they will,” Jimmy said. Then he looked right at me and said, “Sorry for cursing.”
“Cursing is allowed,” I said in a stage whisper.
Beck looked back at his paper. “Why rescue though? Why Lucky Dog?”
“I don’t know, man,” Jimmy said, smiling. “People make a lot of assumptions about me. Probably do to you, huh?”
“About what?” Beck asked.
“Your value.”
Now it was my turn to look at Jem and Wes. Wes was swallowing hard, over and over. Jem’s eyes were shining. I reached down to take her hand.
“My lack of value, you mean,” Beck said.
Jimmy laughed sardonically. “Exactly. I ain’t rich. I’m not smart. I’ve got nothing to show for my life except a busted-up bike and, uh… well, my dogs.” The reality of that—that he was beholden to these animals—draped over him like a blanket. But it wasn’t negative—it was pride, and not the bad kind.
The beautiful kind.
This. This moment right here, between these two people, was so real and raw I felt it grip me. Like a fist was closing around my body and yanking me forward. I was compelled, crying and squeezing Jem’s hand.
“I guess I’ve always wanted to feel a love like that, you know?” Jimmy said. “And it pisses me off that we devalue people all the time. Pisses me off that we do it to dogs too. I know they weren’t like the nicest looking dogs when you got them. But that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a home.”
Beck swallowed thickly. “Yeah. I agree.”
Beck looked at his paper again. It felt like the room was holding its collective breath. Because I could see what was happening on Beck’s face. The turmoil there. But I didn’t know what he wanted to say.
Beck Mason looked right at me, as if needing the comfort. I smiled—as full a smile as I could—and placed a hand over my heart. You can do it, I mouthed. Whatever it was he was going to do.
“So, uh,” he started, clearing his throat, “it’s not a secret anymore about who I am. It was actually never a secret. I’m a Mason. My parents run the Miami Devils MC and when I was a teenager, I served five different sentences in a juvenile detention facility. A lot of people have seen my mugshots now.” He put his notes down. “It’s hard to have your past dragged up by strangers. Made fun of. To have assumptions made about you. To be picked apart. But I don’t want to feel shame about that. So I won’t.” Beck kept staring at me. “Because what does that say about people like you or me, who have done time but are back on the right path? Or have been involved in a criminal organization and gotten out? There’s no shame.”
“I think it’s more like courage, don’t you?” Jimmy said.
I was weightless again—heart wild and open and reaching toward Beck.
“A couple of weeks ago I wouldn’t have said that. But I think you’re right,” Beck replied. “Courage.”
Tears were streaming down Jem’s face. I took the camera from her, held it steady—and held her in a one-armed hug with my free arm.
“I say all that because a dog did that for me. I never used to say that because I always worried I sounded dumb. But I did this program my last time in juvie where I worked with this dog. Willow.” Beck’s voice wavered at the end. “She was a real good girl. She’s the reason I’m here. Without her…”