Wild Men of Alaska Collection - By Helmer, Tiffinie Page 0,100
to me any time. Thank you.” She took the box, noticing they were one of her favorite brands, though the thought of eating one right now made her nauseous. She hoped she’d be able to choke down dinner. “Please, come in.” She shut the door behind him and walked to the kitchen, setting the box of chocolates on the counter.
“Did you find that draft?” Cub asked following behind her. “Your house seems warmer today. Or is it because it isn’t as cold outside as it was the other night? If you haven’t contacted anyone, I know a guy I could call. He’d be here this weekend if you need him. Just say the word.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “There I go again. I’m messing this up.”
“Messing what up?” She turned after grabbing her purse and keys.
“Our date. I’m going to talk you to death.”
“I’m not worried.” At least one of them would have something to say. She wasn’t sure how much of a conversationalist she’d be tonight. Another reason she really should have called this off. Though Cub had been entertaining since he’d shown up, if not rattled. “Why are you so nervous? It isn’t like we haven’t spent time together before. I’m not going to attack you or anything.”
“I’d like you to.” His face flushed bright red. “Sorry. I can’t believe I said that out loud.”
She paused adjusting the purse strap on her shoulder. It was her turn to suddenly feel nervous. “Cub, I—”
“Forget that slipped out.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose again. She’d never noticed the nervous action before. But then she couldn’t remember if she’d ever seen Cub nervous.
“Okay, what’s up?” She had a sneaking suspicion this had to do with the book he’d bought in her store the other day.
“Gemma, I like you.” He dragged in a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “I’ve only dated one other woman in my whole life.”
She stared at him. One woman? He had to be close to thirty.
“I married my high school sweetheart. She was the only one I’ve ever dated, ever loved, ever made love to.” He pulled at his collar. “I lost her a year ago, and you are my first date.”
Oh man, way to put on the pressure. “But we’ve been out before so this doesn’t really count as our first date.”
One woman?
“Those other times I wasn’t looking at you as a...romantic interest. That first time I kissed you, I hadn’t really thought it through. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. You were there, I’ve been really lonely, and I bungled it up.”
“The second time you kissed me, you didn’t.”
“I know!” He smiled like a kid who’d scored the winning goal at a hockey game. “It gave me hope that I could move on and experience another relationship.”
Oh, holy balls, she needed to put a stop to this. She was going to break Cub’s fragile heart.
“I’m doing everything wrong. Everything the book said not to do.” He closed his eyes and grimaced. “Can we forget all this and start again from when I knocked on the door. I’m not this much of a basket case.”
Good thing, since she was.
“Come to dinner with me, Gemma. Get to know who I am, that is getting to know more about me than just kayaking and my love for sappy movies.”
He was like a puppy, all wobbly and adorable. How did she say no? “Where are you planning on taking me for dinner?”
Gemma laughed at the story Cub regaled her with about a particular rescue where the wife had been worried sick when her husband hadn’t returned from a hunting trip, and then livid when the husband had been found holed up in the Brooks Range with another woman.
She and Cub ate dinner at Pike’s Landing and continued to share stories of work—shying away from family for now—and outrageous experiences that Alaska seemed famous for. Sipping her coffee, Gemma watched the Northern Lights reflect over the snow. She didn’t feel Lucky, no brush of fingers on the back of her neck, no cold breeze in the room, no whispered inflections, and knowing he’d never appear again sent pain radiating throughout her chest. She might have to consider moving some place south where the Northern Lights couldn’t reach as they would serve as a constant reminder of her Dreamweaver.
“What happened just now?” Cub asked. “You’ve done that before with me. One minute you’re here and the next worlds away.”