tears while others just beamed at Andres, and two teenagers held up a banner that said, We missed you, bro!
Tiny hands had drawn colorful marine animals all over the banner.
This was what it should be like. Family was the bedrock of life; that was what Tazia had always been taught, still what she believed. A person could weather anything so long as she had the strength of her family at her back. To be without family was to be a ghost, lost in the wilderness.
Andres turned toward her. “Will you—”
“I’ll check in for you at the office.” She smiled and took his ID card. “Go on, I think your mom’s going to burst if you don’t hug her soon.” It was his mother who was crying; Tazia recognized her from many earlier meetings.
Andres’s mother had invited Tazia home for dinner on countless occasions during Tazia’s time working on the construction and development team.
“Thanks, Tazi.” Andres hesitated. “You know you’re always welcome to come home with me. One more body won’t be any trouble. Ma loves to feed people and she adores you.”
She cherished him for his friendship, but she also knew that this time should be his . . . and much as Tazia loved his family, it made her so sad inside to witness their love, their togetherness. It was a terrible thing to admit, but their joy reminded her too much of all that she had lost. Better for such a guest to stay away; never would she risk putting a damper on Andres’s visit by inadvertently betraying her own painful homesickness.
“I’ll be fine,” she said, her heart a dull ache in her chest but her smile and wave for his family very much real. “I’ve got a few dates set up.”
A gleam in his eye. “Secretive. I like it.” He kissed her on the cheek before heading off, turning to walk backward long enough to call out, “I’ll expect a full report!”
Then he was gone, excitedly swallowed up by his boisterous family.
“You lied.”
She didn’t startle, having felt Stefan’s cool presence at her back.
Taking a step forward in an effort to fight the temptation to turn around and push at him until he cracked, until he acted human, she said, “It’s a lie that’ll ensure he doesn’t worry about me during his break.” With that, she hefted her small duffel and strode toward the office building to check in; she’d leave both her own and Andres’s ID badges there. It was easy enough to verify ID with a DNA scan when it was time to return to Alaris, and this way there was no risk of losing the IDs.
Stefan fell into step beside her, shortening his long strides to match hers. “What will you do?”
Concerned? Stefan? No, she thought. He probably just wanted to make sure his engineer would return to Alaris without problematic psychological issues. The smooth running of the station, after all, was his mandate. “I’ll rent a room for the month I’m upside.”
The office staff had shown her how to arrange such temporary accommodation her first trip upside. Now she had a list of places she could call to see if they had vacancies—advance bookings were difficult, as no one could guarantee exactly when conditions would be right for the submersible to come up.
If everything was booked, there were always the bunks at the back of the office building. No one would mind if she used one of those, though Tazia intended to do her best to avoid that scenario. She’d spent a week there her first rotation upside, and the quiet pity she’d seen in the eyes of those who went home every day to their families was nothing she ever wanted to repeat.
“What will you do in your room?”
Fingers tightening on the handles of her duffel at Stefan’s question, she fought the burning in her throat, the flame of anger in her stomach. He had no idea what he was doing to her, how his questions were forcing her to face her cold, lonely existence headlong. No playing with Mina’s children for her, no cuddling her nephew or helping her father fix the machines the desert sand was constantly clogging.
That was what a daughter who was wanted and loved would do. Not one who’d been forsaken. “I’ll hang out,” she said, keeping her pain to herself. “Read a few books, maybe go to the theater, have fun.”
“Do you wish to do that?”
“No.” Temper snapping, she spun around to face him, her jaw tight