get it all out now so we can move past this awkward phase.”
“I can appreciate that given the circumstances.” I peek over when she stops talking. The wrinkles around her eyes deepen with her smile when our eyes meet. “I still can’t believe you’re here.” Her eyes water as she loses control of her emotions. She blinks back her tears and waves her hand in front of her. “I’ll just warn you now that I’m a hot mess.”
I laugh out loud. “My dad used to call me that.” I flinch when I realize what I said. How much crueler can I be? The man kidnaps me and hides me away for years and now I flat out call him dad in front of her. “I mean…”
She shakes her head and pins me with her stare. “I’ll stop apologizing if you stop worrying about hurting our feelings talking about your past. Was Rudy good to you?” Her voice breaks, afraid of the answer. Tears well up that she referred to him as I know him instead of his real identity.
“He was.”
“That’s all I care about then. We can’t change what happened and I’m grateful he wasn’t able to go through…” She pauses, swallowing the words she doesn’t want to say out loud. “I’m indebted to him.”
“I’m not only worried about how you guys will feel, I’m confused about how I should feel. I should hate him, right?” My nose tickles as tears threaten to let loose. I sniff and chuckle through my tears, pointing at my face. “See, hot mess too.”
Her comforting smile calms the panic inside my chest, giving me hope that everything will be okay. I need all the hope I can get. “You can’t force your heart to feel something it can’t. Despite everything, he’s your dad, Aspen. You had a good life before it was turned upside down.”
I nod, wiping a tear. “I did. I mean, I was already planning on leaving the island, but it wasn’t because of him.” I was staying because of him. I’m still furious that he lied about being sick, even if I understand why he did it. I always felt like I was missing something out in the world. Who knew it was a complete family? “Does it feel weird calling me Aspen?”
She squares her shoulders like I just said something outlandish. “Why? That’s your name.” I close my eyes as a rush of emotion surfaces. How she can take in stride the evil cast on her family and make me feel at ease seems almost superhuman. I couldn’t do it.
“Thank you,” I cry out, scooting across the swing, and wrap my arms around her shoulders. Her gentle embrace cocoons me and I revel in the moment. I have a mom.
Clearing the emotions from my throat, I sit back up. The air is still, unlike yesterday’s breeze. The shade on the patio wanes as the sun lowers in the sky and its light warms my legs, inching up my body. I run my fingers over the warmth.
“While I was waiting impatiently to take my turn with you,” she says, breaking the silence, and I lift my chin giving her my attention. “They gave me the most delicious sugar cookie I’ve ever tasted.” My cheeks flush at the compliment. “And don’t think I’m saying that because you made them. Amy didn’t tell me where they came from until I begged her.”
I wrinkle my nose and smile. “Thank you.”
“She told me you’re a baker. Tell me about it.”
Leaning my elbow on the backside of the swing, I rest on my hand and tell her about my business. She gives me all her attention, slipping in questions here and there. Her genuine interest makes me giddy. I can’t help the excitement in my voice.
We’re laughing about a story I told when David joins us on the patio. “This is what I love hearing.” He claps his hands once, his eyes jumping between the two of us. “Bea, it’s probably time for us to go.”
Everything went so much better than I expected. I don’t want it to end.
“Do you have to?”
“Do we have to?”
Beatrice and I reply at the same time, ending in a round of laughter. When I glance up at David, tears pool in his eyes and he shakes his head. “No, we don’t.” He blinks back his tears and rolls his shoulders, attempting to hide his emotions. “How about we take this back inside and plan on having dinner delivered?”