took away a little of the panic. I focused on that breath from behind me as Jonah slept, his body curled around mine. Still, I couldn’t shake the unease clawing at my stomach.
Addy.
I needed to see Addy. Make sure she was okay.
Make sure she was alive.
With extreme effort, I eased slowly out of the bed. On bare feet, I padded out of my old room, the one I’d shared with Sonia that I was now sharing with Jonah. Sonia and Charlie had bunked up in the spare room because neither of them wanted to sleep in the room that Charlie used to share with Tabby growing up. It was too soon. It might always be too soon.
I maneuvered past the squeaky board that I knew would wake Mama Kerri and kept on past Lilian and Genesis’s room. Past Charlie and Tabby’s old room to the one at the end. Addison and Blessing had always been thicker than thieves. Sharing a room with a woman half your life would definitely build that relationship. It was also why they were so good working together a lot of the time. Blessing as the designer, Addy as her model. Had a lot to do with why they were hired for special shoots too. They just worked well together.
As quietly as I could, I pushed open the door to their room. Blessing slept deep. Always had. She was also the last to rise. No matter what. The woman liked her sleep and never had a problem falling to sleep or staying that way. You could run the vacuum right by her bed and she’d sleep through it.
Addy sat up a little when I entered.
I dashed over to her bed as she pulled back the covers. I slid in and faced her. She grabbed both of my hands and we stared at one another in the mostly dark room.
“Can’t sleep?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Nightmare. You?”
“Same.”
I nodded, brought our hands toward my face, and kissed her fingers. She squeezed mine.
“Are we ever going to be able to close our eyes again and not see what happened?” she whispered.
My heart cracked open and more sorrow poured out. “I don’t know. I hope so. Probably when a little time has passed. Maybe not.”
She hummed and closed her eyes.
I closed my eyes and listened to her humming. She did it for so long it lulled me sleep.
Sometime in the night or early morning, Jonah came into the room and I was lifted into the air and held in his arms as he carried me back to his bed.
This became a nightly routine. Me waking with a nightmare and crawling into bed with Addison until I could sleep again. Later, Jonah would come and get me, carrying me back to my place at his side.
He never complained. Not once.
Friday, we cremated Tabby’s remains and set her soul free. Tabby’s ashes were put into an etched, ornate metal urn that Mama Kerri put front and center on her mantle over the fireplace. None of us were ready to spread her ashes anywhere. We needed the reminder of her presence in our lives and we all agreed Tab would be cool with that.
Mama Kerri held a small gathering at her house, and we put an announcement in the paper. Few people showed. Mostly friends of ours or Mama Kerri’s. Of course, the media mongrels were camped outside waiting to catch any sight of the grieving family. Not only was the media obsessed with the fact a serial killer had been caught and taken out, but the connection to the youngest Senator in history, one who was beautiful, strong, and firm in her political convictions? They simply couldn’t harness their fascination. Sonia had been followed incessantly and it didn’t look like it would be slowing down any time soon.
Worse, we were coming up on a presidential election and for some reason the media were calling for Sonia to run. This news shocked Sonia more than any of us, but she politely demurred and reiterated that she was happy serving the great state of Illinois as a Senator.
It was now Saturday and the remaining eight of us descended on Tabby’s rathole apartment downtown. We had boxes, newspaper, packing tape, and everything else we’d need to box up our sister’s life. Jonah was out doing something with Ryan and Aunt Delores had Rory for the day.
I swore you could hear a pin drop with how quiet all of us were when Mama Kerri opened