Wild Chance (Wilder Irish #13) - Mari Carr Page 0,59

away who’s offering you a second chance at true happiness. There are a great many things you didn’t have the opportunity to experience with Mia. Fatherhood, buying a house, raising a family, bickering over money, fighting over what to name your fourth son because you’d already used all the boy names you could agree on. I had all of that. Sunday and I had decades together; you and Mia had but one year.”

“I get that, but…” He paused. Padraig wouldn’t waste the breath to lie to his grandfather, to say he didn’t want to be a father someday. That feeling had always been there, but he’d buried it deep after Mia’s death, fighting hard to snuff it out, to douse that fire by denying it kindling. However, it wouldn’t flicker out, and lately, every time he saw Colm with the twins or Fergus texted a picture of Sophie, it sparked bright again.

“Things were different for me, Paddy. I had a houseful of children—seven devastated kids—all looking to me to care for them. I couldn’t—wouldn’t—divide my attention, my time. They’d already lost so much. Too much. So I wrapped my life around them because I believed that was what they needed. But now…”

“But now?” Padraig prompted.

“But now…I’m not so sure it was what I needed. The real reason I’m telling you to overcome your fear is because…” Pop Pop took a deep breath. “I know all the ways to the depths of my soul that you are a stronger man than I.”

Padraig didn’t have a clue how to respond to that. His grandfather was one of the strongest men he knew. “That’s not true.”

“It is.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m asking you, Paddy, to have the courage I didn’t. I’m an old man, and I’ve had a lot of time to look back on my life, to reflect on the decisions I’ve made. There are things I regret. Sometimes I wonder if I’d opened my eyes and looked around, if I’d risked my heart again, if I would have found an Emmy, a second chance at love and happiness.”

Padraig had never—not once—heard Pop Pop talk about finding someone else. He’d always claimed he’d met and married his soul mate, that Sunday had been it for him forever. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Look at how long I’ve lived without Sunday. Another whole lifetime. If I’d taken the chance I’m telling you to take right now, I might have lived the second half of my life with a woman I could have loved every bit as much as Sunday. As I said before, time is relative. But maybe more importantly, love isn’t finite.”

“You still miss Grandma Sunday. You still love her.”

“I do. Just as you’re always going to miss and love Mia. But you’re far too young to doom yourself to a life alone.”

Padraig nodded, Pop Pop’s words sinking in deep as the guilt that had been sucking him down like quicksand suddenly loosened, his grandfather throwing him a rope, allowing him a chance to climb out. What would he give to live as a free man?

He saw Emmy’s face again in his mind. He’d walked away because of fear and the end result was the same. He’d still lost her, and the pain of that was unbearable.

Pop Pop looked down, studying the floor for a few moments before he lifted his gaze to him and continued speaking. “I’m a man like any other, lad. And going to bed night after night, year after year, is lonely. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and I definitely don’t wish it for you. Give your heart to Emmy. She’s perfect for you. She adores you, and I don’t doubt for a moment she will fill your days and nights with laughter and love and a houseful of kids if you want. Don’t throw all of that away because of fear. Do you love Emmy?”

“Yes. God, yes,” he replied without a second’s hesitation.

“Then that means taking a risk. Neither of you can give the other any guarantees. That’s not how life works. Nothing is certain. But love…well, that’s the only thing that makes life worth living, that gives us a reason to get up every morning.”

Padraig considered those words, and once again, he recalled Emmy’s face on Thursday night. “I hurt her.”

Pop Pop nodded. “So make it right.”

“I don’t know if I can. I walked away from her when she needed me. My behavior…it was unforgiveable.”

“I don’t believe that. You’re human. You made an understandable mistake