not, he—he was father to the bloody TRIPLETS! I mean, it’s true, isn’t it? That he was their father?”
She looked at the floor. “Yes, it’s true. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner.”
“Sooner?” I yelled. “You never told me at all!”
“I was going to, I swear, it’s just I promised Juan and—”
“Juan is dead! I suppose you think the triplets gate-crashing into my life like that wasn’t important. And you knew the connection all along?”
“I promised him I wouldn’t tell. He made me swear. He was going to tell you himself, but the timing never seemed right and then—”
“Why didn’t you tell me after—after he was gone? You could’ve warned me.”
“Yes, well, look—” She didn’t finish her sentence. What could she say? No excuse was good enough. She had betrayed me, and she knew it. A nasty thought flashed through my mind for a split second; was Pippa in cahoots with the triplets? No, that wouldn’t make sense, or she wouldn’t have come to rescue me.
“Was Juan still seeing Lee?” I demanded. “Still in love with her?”
“God, no! No, you’ve got the wrong impression.”
“The wrong impression? There’s evidence, Pippa, evidence, right here in my hands, of a happy family, and you were part of this—this—” My fury held me back from finishing what I couldn’t even express in words, with this cacophony of emotions whirling in my head. Fury, loss, a hopeless feeling of betrayal, loneliness, shock. Suspicion.
I sat there crying, my shoulders rounded in a slump, Pippa silent, not knowing what to say. After an awkward hiatus, with nothing but my howling sobs, I let her know about the note on the napkin that matched Lee’s writing. She winced and shook her head but didn’t elaborate.
I could hardly think.
“What more are you not t-telling me, Pippa?” My words came out in chopped chokes. “You c-came with me and Jen to Hearst Castle that day, and all that time you and Jen knew each other?”
“Yes, I mean, no. Jen has no idea who I am. None of the triplets do.”
“Don’t lie!”
“I hadn’t seen Jen since… well… practically since that photo was taken.”
“But you were obviously Lee’s friend, or she wouldn’t have written you that card!”
“I was the triplets’ nanny. Briefly, for just a few months. Juan got me the job. He couldn’t cope, he—”
“Poor, poor diddums, Juan,” I spat out sarcastically. “How awful for him not being able to cope with his DOUBLE LIFE!”
“You don’t understand, this was long before he met you. He had left Lee and the triplets ages before you came along. He walked out of their lives when they were just babies.”
“Well that makes me love my husband a whole lot more. That he had a beautiful family and then just walked out on them. And later took their home away. Bravo, Juan, what a great fucking guy you were. Like… that’s meant to make it all okay? Meant to make me feel better?”
“You’re upset, darling. I totally understand, but it wasn’t like that. Not at all.”
“Well please enlighten me to what it was like then, because right now—” I burst into tears again, my anger laced with disgust about the man I’d wasted over ten years with. A man whose every word I’d clung on to. All lies, all deceit. What a fool I’d been.
Beanie lay on my lap and pressed his nose against my beet-red face, licking away the tears in gentle lapping kisses. Pippa put her arm around me. I shook it off with a rough thrust of my shoulder.
“Look, Juan was tricked by Lee,” she said. “He was miserable after less than a year of marriage. Stupidly, at the beginning of their relationship, he’d agreed to IVF. Then, when he realized their marriage was a disaster, he wanted a divorce. He contacted the fertility clinic telling them to destroy his sperm. Well, Lee—with her brilliant forgery of Juan’s signature giving consent—managed to continue with the IVF treatment, without Juan’s permission. She got pregnant. He was horrified. Kids with Lee was the last thing in the world he wanted. It was a total shock to him.”
I gauged her expression to see if what she was telling me was true, then asked, “Why didn’t they get divorced then? Why did he still stay if he was so unhappy after she’d lied to him?”
“She had him by the balls, excuse the rather apt expression. Under California law, she’d get half his money, Cliffside too, because she had three kids to raise, plus he’d have to