Wide Open Spaces (Shooting Stars #2) - Aurora Rose Reynolds Page 0,46
answer.
“I wanted my kids to have what I didn’t. I believed that with time, we could find a way to be happy.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this,” I say, changing my mind as nausea and jealousy turn my stomach.
“You loved your ex, baby. I know you did. I didn’t have that. I wanted it, but never had it with her or anyone else since you.”
“Please stop.” Feeling tears burn the back of my eyes for him, I close them tight. Max and I were happy and in love in the beginning, and I hate knowing Zach never had that… the kids didn’t see or feel that.
“I wish my past didn’t hurt you so much. I’m sorry for hurting you the way I have. If I could take your pain away, I would.” He gathers me against him and tucks my head under his chin.
“As sad as it makes me, I wish you would have had that with her or someone else,” I say, and his arms tighten so much that my lungs compress.
“I don’t,” he growls.
“What?” I wheeze, and he loosens his grip just enough for me to take a breath.
“I don’t want to think about what would have happened if I had been with her or someone else when you came back. I don’t want to face that demon inside of me that knows what I would have done.”
“Zach—”
“I’ve been in love with you for almost eighteen years. I carried your missing pieces around inside me for that long, Shelby. I know it would have made me an asshole, but there is only one you. Besides my kids you’re the only place I’ve ever called home.” His voice is thick with emotion, and that wound inside of me fills up a little bit more. I hate his words, but a part of me is relieved he feels that way, that he feels so deeply for me.
Resting my palm against his cheek I whisper. “There’s been a wide open space inside me since we placed Samuel and I left you behind. A space I didn’t think would ever be full but from the moment I came back, it’s slowly been filling up.”
He goes quiet at my words and several moments pass before he speaks again. “One day, that space will be full.” He whispers back, “I swear, with everything I have in me, I will make sure it’s overflowing and that you never feel empty again baby.”
“You’re going to make me cry,” I mutter, and his head dips toward mine. He places a gentle kiss against my lips.
“There’s no time for you to cry. You need to sleep, baby. We have to get up in a few hours, pick up the kids from Tina, and then get to the airport to catch our fight,” he reminds me, and I have no idea how I forgot that in just a few hours we’re getting on a plane and heading to Juno for the day. We’ll be getting on a boat and going out whale watching, and then get back on a plane in the evening to spend the night in Anchorage, where we are taking the kids school shopping. Something that was my idea. Cordova has a lot to offer, but there are not many places to buy clothes, and Hunter seems to have grown a foot since we got here. I’m also hoping to talk Aubrey into buying some stuff that fits her and will help show just how beautiful she is.
“Hunter will love it, and it’s one of Aubrey’s favorite things to do,” he says, and my body softens.
Hunter will love it, and any time I see Aubrey happy, I’m happy. “I can’t wait. It’s all Hunter could talk about today,” I agree, gaining a squeeze from him. “I have one more thing I need to say.” I yawn, feeling myself start to drift back to sleep as I cuddle closer to him.
“What’s that?”
“I’m also sorry.” I pull in a breath and pause. Feeling his eyes on me. “I’m sorry for the way I made you feel. Giving Samuel up for adoption was a choice we made together, and I’m sorry for making you feel like you forced me to do it. It wasn’t fair of me to make you feel that way back then, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me” I say, feeling his arms tighten as my eyes slide closed and I fall asleep not hearing his mutter.