Who I Am With You (Imagination #10) - Staci Stallings Page 0,57

to say…” He scratched at his nose with his thumb. “Uhm, I’m really sorry about…” Folding his arms, he half-shrugged. “Well, I’m really sorry. This whole deal…”

Taylor shook her head. “It’s okay, Wes. Really. I know you didn’t…”

“No. But I should have…”

“It’s okay. Really. It is.” She dropped her gaze to the floor and left it there. “I understand.”

The awkward argument fell between them, and it took Wes a minute to recover.

“Look, I just… I don’t want things to be weird between us,” he finally said, dropping his hands back to his hips. “I’m not sure what to say or how to say it so that…”

“I know,” Taylor said with a nod. Her gaze came up though it was anything but steady. “And I’m sorry too. I guess we’ve all needed some growing up room.”

Although Wes nodded, Greg noticed how truly troubled he still looked.

“I… I know things are different now,” Wes said, trying again. “But I need you to know, I never stopped being your friend. I hope you know that.”

A sad smile traced across Taylor’s lips. A second and she dove back into his arms. Once there, she closed her eyes and seemed to soak in the long hug Wes gave her. “I know.”

“Are we okay?” Wes asked, holding her.

“Yeah,” she finally said softly. “We’re good.”

“Good because I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“Me either.”

“I hope that wasn’t too weird,” Greg said when they were in his car, waiting for the heater to kick in and dispel the persistent chill.

Taylor could have lied, and she almost did. “I think it’s all kind of weird, you know? It’s weird not knowing who to be around them anymore. It’s weird… not being… Taylor.” She danced her hands around. “You know… on? Happy? All right?”

“You’re not all right?” Greg asked with worry.

“Not like I was. Not like back then.” She shrugged. “It’s hard… learning to be real? It’s hard… I’ve been, you know, working on myself a lot, or trying to anyway. With Yoli and Lily, and with the painting and now with Merel and kind of with Clara even. But then I get in there, with them, and it’s like it all comes back to me, you know? It’s all… Bleh. I feel like there’s this pressure, but I’m trying not to let it push me into how I was before.” She shook her head. “I mean like this, with you, it’s cool. But with the guys… it’s just… it’s strange.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think that took a lot of guts tonight,” he said. “And I think you did great.”

“Thanks.”

Carefully pulling out, he adjusted the heat and turned on the wipers. “So I didn’t get to ask, how did the thing go with Merel?”

“Good,” Taylor said and she smiled. “Great, actually. Man, I can’t wait to call Yoli. We may never get done talking after this.”

“That’s good. That’s really good.”

“It’s so hard to ask for help, to admit you need help, you know? That you don’t have it all together. At least it is for me.”

He glanced over at her, and she felt that look.

“We talked about the masks we wear trying to be something we’re not,” Taylor said. “She made a lot of sense. I think I’m still just trying to process it all.” She laughed at that. “Lot of processing.”

Stopping at a stop light, he looked over again. “So have you heard anything else about tomorrow?”

Taylor sighed at that. “Nope. And I’m starting to think this is a fire I’m going to have to walk through, you know? I don’t think God is going to move this mountain the way I wanted Him to. For whatever reason, He thinks this is something I have to go through to get to the other side. What did Merel say? The only way out is through, and the only way through is together? Something like that anyway. I just hope there’s still going to be a together on the other side of this thing. I’m not sure I even realized it, but I sure have missed you guys.”

“We’ve missed you too.”

She nodded, hoping that was true, wondering if it really was.

Pulling into the dorm parking lot, Greg parked and took a second before he turned to her. “Look, Tay, I really do want to be there tomorrow. I don’t want you to think we’re going to just take off now.”

“I know,” Taylor said, and when she looked at him, she really did know. “You’re a good guy, Greg Everett.