Who I Am With You (Imagination #10) - Staci Stallings Page 0,160

so many of them started becoming depressed. Isn’t that wild? So, you put that together with this concept of being misaligned with who you are, and no wonder, right? I mean, if you pull yourself away from who you are by doing things that don’t support your true you, of course you’re going to get super depressed. Why wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, but you have to do things,” Lauren said, chiming in. “I mean, I’m not a fan of college algebra, but here I am.”

“Right,” Taylor said with a nod, “but that’s just it. How much of your life is in alignment and how and where is it really out-of-balance? Look at high school. Wes, not to pick on you, but how was high school for you?”

“Blech. Other than the band, not terribly great.”

“Exactly. But that’s just it, the band was where you experienced flow. In fact, I think we all did. Not at first of course,” Taylor said. “At first, it was a lot of struggle, but then we found our rhythm, our groove, and even practicing for the most part was like breathing. At least it was to me.”

“I always looked forward to it,” Wes admitted. “If it hadn’t been for the band and you guys, I’m not sure I would’ve made it through school.”

“Because you had one place you could completely just ‘be you.’”

Wes nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well, now,” Lauren said, looking at him, “I think you’re like that with the cars. I mean, I’ve seen you. You get lost in it. It’s like you can see the way it was, and you’re what’s-his-name, chipping away at the marble to get it back to that.”

“Michelangelo!” Taylor said. “Exactly! That’s dopamine flow!”

“Dopa-what-now?” Wes asked as if she had completely lost her mind.

“Dopamine,” Taylor said. “It’s a hormone. I just watched a video on it earlier today. There are four main types of flow state. Dopamine is the artistic kind where you have a vision and each step brings you closer and closer to that vision. That’s you with the cars. Each step gives you dopamine in your system, which is highly addictive, but when it’s for something productive, it’s great.

“Then there’s endorphin flow, which is like a runner’s high, and of course, adrenaline flow. That’s the one they found first and the one most people think of when they first learn about flow. It’s the one that like an extreme skier jumps off the mountain that they have to get to by helicopter, and he’s skiing down this steep, dangerous cliff. The guy on the video called it ‘stay in flow, don’t think, just do or you will die’ flow. You’re just so in the moment because the adrenaline focuses you so much, and you don’t have time to think about each rock and tree because they are going by so fast. It’s what they mean when they say, ‘Don’t think, just do.’ And what Tom Cruise meant in Top Gun when he tells the instructor that ‘up there, you don’t have time to think.’ That’s adrenaline flow.”

“Like skydiving,” Lauren said.

“Or base jumping,” Wes said.

“Exactly,” Taylor said with an excited nod. “Of course, you have to have the skills to meet the challenge you’re going for. It’s not like I could jump off a mountain and just go into flow like that. I’d jump off and tumble all the way down and break every bone in my body probably. But for people who have trained for it…”

“That’s kind of cool actually,” Lauren said. “I wish I had something that would put me in flow. I think I spend my whole life doing that stretch thing.”

“But you do,” Taylor said in surprise. “You do the spreadsheets and stuff for Wes.”

Lauren shrugged. “Yeah, but that’s easy.”

“For you maybe,” Wes said. “Uck. It would get me hives trying to do the stuff you do.”

“Learned helplessness,” Taylor said as her heart jumped inside her. “Wow. That’s crazy. What puts one person into flow, puts another person into… wow.”

The look Lauren gave her was at once surprised, confused, and disbelieving.

“What?” Taylor asked taken aback by it.

A breath and Lauren shrugged. “You just seem really different, that’s all.”

Taylor couldn’t argue with that. “I feel different.” And she did too. Relaxed. Almost… happy. Content. At peace. It was weird.

About that time, the door came open, and Greg tromped in, head down, looking like someone had tried to take him out but hadn’t quite finished the job.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Wes said. “Man, you look whipped.”

“Gee thanks.”