a cardinal sin. It was beyond mere embarrassment. It diminished you. In one of his Zeus-like pronouncements, he declared that debt darkens your very soul and puts you at the mercy of someone who might very well be inferior in many ways.
“It’s a lesson I always try to impress upon those I turn down for a loan,” he had told me and Julia. “Unfortunately, few heed my words. I’d never lend money to someone who was happy to be obligated. A personal loan is a burden, and you’re born with too many as it is. No need to add to them if you don’t have to. Exhaust every other possibility first.”
After that fatherly advice, I felt guilty permitting a friend to buy me an ice cream cone, and that was just pennies. Sleep was not going to have a comforting embrace tonight. My conscience would keep it barking at the door. Sure enough, I did toss and turn all night, trying to come up with a solution. Any idea I considered just involved borrowing from someone else. I thought about asking Mr. Manning for something of an advance, but I was afraid of letting him know how close to complete failure I was. There was no choice. The following morning, I waited nervously for it to be late enough for me to go knocking on Leo Abbot’s door.
When I did, he took one look at my face, lost his smile, and asked, “What’s wrong, Emma?”
“My roommate deserted me. She left last night. We had a fight because she told me she didn’t have her share of the rent to pay today.”
He nodded. “I expected it. Did she ever compensate you for half the deposit?”
I shook my head. “I can give you all the rent due,” I said quickly. Now that I was facing him, I couldn’t get myself to ask for more time or tell him I’d only give him my half. The words got stuck in my throat.
“But it will clean you out if you pay it all right now?”
“Almost,” I admitted. “I don’t want to disappoint you, Mr. Abbot. I’ll pay it, and I’ll advertise for another roommate today.”
He nodded, thinking. “Let’s let it go another week. I can let it slide that long,” he said. “I don’t like you scraping the bottom. Maybe you’ll get a new roommate before then and get her to pay half the deposit as well as her share of the rent.”
“Thank you, Mr. Abbot.”
“Leo,” he said, smiling. “Anything interesting happening with your singing?”
“I might get a part-time job in a club to make extra money. I audition tonight.”
“Okay. See? You’re definitely determined. I’d call you a good bet. Good luck.”
“Thank you,” I said, and hurried off to the restaurant.
Marge was glad to hear Piper had left me, despite the financial strain it had put on me. She told Mr. Manning, who immediately posted another notice on the restaurant’s bulletin board. Everyone, even the other waitresses who I knew were often jealous of me, were sympathetic and supportive. When I left after seven to rush home to freshen up and prepare for my club audition, I felt hopeful and revived, despite the hours and hours of being on my feet at work. Buck had been off today, but I remembered he said he would be there to support me.
Tonight would be my first ride on a New York subway, and I was almost as nervous about that as I was about auditioning. Danny’s Hideaway was located in what was known as the East Village. Studying the map I had, I could see that it was only a few minutes’ walk from the station.
At first, I thought it might have gone out of business when I arrived, because the front windows were so dark, but when I entered, I saw it was quite lively. In fact, it was probably at least three times as large and as crowded as the Three Bears tavern, if not more so. It had a long bar and tables spread throughout, with a small stage area where the piano player was playing. His music sounded to me more like the music of a player piano. I thought he was racing through songs. People talked and even shouted above the music.
Buck popped up from the bar on my left. For a moment, because he was wearing a jacket and tie and had his hair recently trimmed, I didn’t recognize him.
“Hey, don’t look so nervous,” he said, thinking that was why